5 LAKHS VACANCIES OPENING FOR MY MUSIC AND FILM COMPANY.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.FEB.,1ST,2010.I INVITE APPLICATIONS FROM THE GLOBAL CITIZENS FOR MY MUSIC COMPANY AND MY FILM COMPANY.THERE ARE TOTAL OF 5 LAKHS OF OPENINGS.
THE QUALIFICATIONS REQUIRED-
1.MUST BE GRE EXAMINATION PASSED OUT WITH MORE THAN 98 PERCENTILE IN ENGLISH.
2.MUST BE A GUINNESS WORLD RECORD HOLDER IN MUSIC,GRAMMY AWARD WINNER,OSCAR AWARD WINNER,NOBLE PRIZE WINNER IN MUSIC.
3.MUST HAVE PASSED OUT FROM 'THE JAPAN KARATE ASSOCIATION',WITH THE MINIMUM OF BLACK BELT 8TH DAN AND MUST HAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD OF KILLING 50 TERRORISTS BARE HANDED.
SALARIES-NEGOTIABLE.BUT THE MINIMUM SALARY WOULD BE 20 LAKHS US DOLLARS PER ANNUM.
HOW TO SEND YOUR RESUME'-JUST SEND IT TO THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS-
RINKU ADARSH,SURYA NARAIN COMPLEX,ROAD NO.1,RAJENDRA NAGAR ,PATNA-16,INDIA.TEL. NO.-91-612-2661852.
LAST DATE FOR SUBMISSION-31ST MARCH,2010.BEST OF LUCK.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH
CHAIRMAN,ALLAUDDIN KHAN MUSIC PVT. LTD.,INDIA.

USTAAD ZAKIR HUSSAIN--THE BACK BONE OF HOLLYWOOD'S MUSIC.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.FEB,1ST,2010.WHENEVER I HEAR TO THE HOLLYWOOD'S MUSICIAN,I FEEL THAT THEY SURELY WOULD HAVE BEEN THE DISCIPLE OF USTAAD ZAKIR HUSSAIN.THEY HAVE STOLEN A LOT FROM HIS MUSIC.MY HEARTIEST CONGRATULATIONS TO ZAKIR BHAI(USTAAD ZAKIR HUSSAIN).
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

'JUST MARRIED'-A MOVIE ON THE STAR MOVIES CHANNEL--THE BIGGEST FLOP.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.FEB.1ST,2010.YESTERDAY I SAW A MOVIE'JUST MARRIED' ON THE STAR MOVIES CHANNEL.THIS WAS THE WORST MOVIE ,I EVER SAW.IS THIS THE WAY TO EXUBERATE YOUR 'HONEY MOON' TRIPS.IN INDIA,EVEN THE POOREST COUPLES HAVE THEIR BETTER HONEY MOON TRIPS THAN THIS.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

CHANNEL TRAVEL AND LIVING--MUSIC MANIA---PHOOOOOH.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.YESTERDAY I SAW A PROGRAMME ON THE TRAVEL AND LIVING CHANNEL'MUSIC MANIA'.THE WORLD MUST REMEMBER THAT MUSIC AIN'T A MANIA.MUSIC IS A PRAYER TO PLEASE 'HIS ALMIGHTY'-GOD.THE CORRECT WORD USED WOULD HAVE BEEN 'MUSIC PHILIC'.NOT MUSICPHOBIA.
I ALWAYS HEAR ON THE TV CHANNELS THAT A MEDICO BOY SUICIDED,NOW THE GOVERNMENT WOULD HAVE TO FACE THE MUSIC.SEE HOW THE PEOPLE ARE DENIGRATING THE 'MUSIC'-THE ONLY WAY TO CONTACT GOD.I PRAY TO THE GOD TO EXCUSE THESE INNOCENT,ILLITERATE PEOPLE.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

'THE RECRUIT'--RULE NO.1---ALWAYS TRY TO BE CAUGHT.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.FEB.1ST,2010.ALWAYS TRY TO BE CAUGHT,BECAUSE IF YOU ARE A DESERVED PERSON,NO BODY CATCH YOU FOR A LONGER TIME.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

INSIDE LAS VEGAS CASINO.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.JAN.,31ST,2010.THERE ARE 2 CHARACTERS 'NK' (NICOLE KIDMAN AND 'R'(EMPEROR).
NK-H.E.,LETS GAMBLE TOGETHER INSIDE THIS CASINO.
R-PLEASE.
NK-HOW MUCH ARE YOU PLAYING ON?
R-100 BILLION POUNDS.YOU?
NK-ONLY 500 MILLION DOLLARS.
THE CASINO HEAD WELCOMES US INSIDE HIS CASINO AND ALLOWS US TO GAMBLE.
NK-THIS IS 100 MILION DOLLARS.
THE GAMBLING MACHINE STARTS ROTATING.LOST.
R-MRS. N.K. YOU HAVE LOST YOUR 100 MILLIONS DOLLAR.
NK-NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.
R-50 BILLION POUNDS.THE MACHINE STRATS ROTATING.LOST.
NK-200 MILLION DOLLARS.THE MACHINE STARTS ROTATING.LOST.
R-25 BILLION POUNDS.THE MACHINE STARTS ROTATING.LOST.
NK-H.E,WHAT'S GOING ON.WE ARE CONTINUOUSLY LOSING THE GAME.
R-PLEASE LOOK DOWN THROUGH THE GLASSES,A MAN IS MANIPULATING THE ROTATION.
NK-NOW,WHAT TO DO?
R-LET'S QUIT.
NK-OK.
THEN THERE IS A AN EXPLOSION INSIDE THE CASINO WHICH TEARS IT INTO THE PIECES OF MOLECULES.
NK-LOOK THE CASINO GOT DEVASTATED.
R-WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WERE GAMBLING WITH THE GREATEST GAMBLER OF THE WORLD,EMPEROR RINKU ADARSH.
NK-SO,WAS IT YOUR'S EXPLOSION.
R-YES, MY EXPLOSION.
NK-GREAT.
R-NOW LET'S ENTER INSIDE IT AGAIN AND ROB IT.
NK-BUT ,THERE'S NOTHING LEFT.
R-EVERY THING IS LEFT.PLEASE COME.
NK-OK.
R-THIS YOUR'S 1,000 MILLION DOLLARS,YOU WON.IT DOUBLED.
NK-YOUR'S?
R-THIS MY 500 BILLION POUNDS .I WONNED.IT MULTIPLIED 5 TIMES.
NK-LET'S CHEER.
R-CHEERS FOR OUR VICTORY.
SINCERELY,
EMPEROR RINKU ADARSH

6 BILLIONS TERRORISTS VERSACE 20 CRORES INNOCENT AMERICAN CITIZENS-THE THIRD WORLD WAR.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.JAN.,31ST,2010.THIS THIRD WORLD WAR IS BETWEEN 6 BILLIONS TERRORISTS OF THE WORLD VERSACE 20 CRORES OF COWARD AMERICAN CITIZENS.I AM THE EMPEROR.WE WOULD CRUSH THEM LIKE A PERSON CRUSHES THE ANTS WITH HIS FEET.WANNA BE CRUSHED,WELCOME.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

MOBILE PHONES IN IT'S SWITCHED OFF POSITION ALSO RECEIVES AND TRANSMITTS WAVES.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.JAN.31ST,2010.MOBILE PHONES EVEN IN IT'S SWITCHED OFF POSITION RECEIVES AND TRANSMITTS MESSAGES,SO DON'T CARRY IT WITH YOU WHENEVER ON A DIPLOMATIC MISSION.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

BINGO-PLEASE PASTE YOUR SALT ON PRINCESS DIANA'S BODY,WITHIN 24 HOURS I WOULD DESTROY THE ENTIRE USA.

DEAR MR. BINGO,
HELLO.JAN.31ST,2010.I CONGRATULATE YOU FOR PASTING YOUR SALT ON THE WOUNDED PERSONS.BUT,IF YOU DARE TO PASTE IT ON MY BELOVED PRINCESS DIANA'S BODY,THEN I WOULD DESTROY THE ENTIRE USA WITHIN 24 HOURS OF TIME.THIS IS MY WARNING.
SINCERELY,
EMPEROR RINKU ADARSH

A SUGGESTION FOR THE AMERICAN TOURISTS VISITING INDIA.

DEAREST AMERICAN CITIZENS,
HELLO.JAN.,31ST,2010.I WOULD LIKE YOU TO INFORM YOU THAT PLEASE DON'T COME TO INDIA,BECAUSE THERE ARE 1.25 BILLIONS TERRORISTS LIVING IN INDIA.IF YOU WOULD BE KILLED THEN NEITHER ME NOR THE GOVERNMENT OF INDIA WOULD BE RESPONSIBLE.SO.PLEASE DON'T COME.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

LATA MANGESHKAR JI--'TU JAHAAN JAHAAN CHALEGA MERA SAAYA SAATH HOGA'.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.JAN.31ST,2010.'TU JAHAAN JAHAAN CHALEGA MERA SAAYA SAATH HOGA'.KYOON ES BOOJHTE HOOE CHIRAAG KE PICHE APNA SAAYA CHOD RAHI HAIN.ARE AB TO MERE JAANE KA SAMAYE AA GAYA HAYE.AUR AGAR AAPKA SAAYA MERA PEECHA KARTA RAHEGA TO MRS.NICOLE KIDMAN JI TO MERE FILM MEIN KAAM KARNE SE RAHIN.AAP MAHAAN HAIN,KOONWARE RAH GAIN,LEKIN MAIN TO ABHI BHI KISI GORI EUROPIE HASEENA SE MOHABBAT KARNE KE LIYE BEKARAAR HOON.MAIN SHAADI KAROONGA TO SIRF MOHABBAT KE PAEMAANE PE TAOLNE KE BAAD,WO BHI GORI HASEENA SE.ENTRY RESERVED ONLY FOR THE WHITE EUROPEAN PRETTIEST GIRLS,INDIANS SORRY.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

LONE,LONIER,LONIEST-TIMES,MUMBAI.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.JAN.31ST,2010.MRS. SONIA AUNTY IS A LONER,SMT. INDIRA GANDHI IS A LONER,H.E.,BARACK OBAMA IS A LONER,BUT I AM THE LONELIEST.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

'ISE KAHTE HAIN JALE PAR NAMAK CHIDAKANA'-BINGO.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.JAN.31ST,2010.'ISE KAHTE HAIN JALE PAR NAMAK CHIDAKANA'.TUM LOG NAMAK CHIDAKANE KE LIYE HI PAEDA HOOE HO,KYOON KI TUM ASOOR LOG HO.TUMHARE BINGO KA KAAM TO MERA MOGAMBO(MR. AMRISH PURI ) HI KHATMA KARDEGA.BACHKE RAHNA RE BABA,BACHKE RAHNA RE.MR. AMRISH PURI-MOGAMBO KHOOSH HOOA.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

I DECLARE MY SELF AS THE EMPEROR OF THIS UNIVERSE,ANY PROBLEM TO ANY BODY?

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.JAN.31ST,2010.I DECLARE MYSELF AS THE EMPEROR OF THIS UNIVERSE,BECAUSE I AM THE RICHEST PERSON OF THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE.MY WORKING CAPITAL IS TRILLIONS OF POUNDS OF UK'S CURRENCY.MY BANK NAMED AS 'ALLAUDDIN KHAN WORLD BANK' IS THE RICHEST BANK OF THIS WORLD.BUT,I GIVE LOANS ONLY TO THE DESERVED PERSONS AND DON'T WANT THEM TO RETURN BACK MY LOANS.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

DECLARATION NO.1.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.RINKU ADARSH,JAN.31ST,2010.I DECLARE THAT ANY OF MY ARTICLES WRITTEN ,ARE VIRTUAL AND NOTHING REAL.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

MARKET SEGMENTATION OF PEPSI,COCACOLA AND FANTA.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.30TH JAN.,2010.TAKE A SAMPLE OF COCACOLA,PEPSI OR FANTA AND GO FROM INDIA TO MOSCOW,YOU WOULD FEEL THAT THE PEPSI,COCACOLA,FANTA OF MOSCOW TASTES THOUSANDS TIME BETTER THAN THE INDIAN ONE.THIS IS CALLED MARKET SEGMENTATION.DON'T BELIEVE,THEN PLEASE TRY IT.HOW,FOOL THIS BRANDS ARE MAKING TO US.SIMILAR IS THE CASE WITH THE PRODUCTS LIKE KURKURE,BINGO,UNCLE CHIPS ETC.HOW MUCH POTATO IS USED IN MAKING A SINGLE PACKET OF AN UNCLE CHIPS.ONLY 2 POTATOES.WHAT IS THE COST OF 2 POTATOES,50 PAISA.IT IS BEEN SOLD IN RS. 10 IN INDIA.NOW SEE THE PROFIT MARGIN.IS THIS A BUSINESS OR A ROBBERY?
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

PLEASE DON'T USE THE VIAGRA,IT'S FATAL.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.30TH JAN.,2010.I FREQUENTLY RECEIVE THE SPAMS TO BUY VIAGRA TO INCREASE MY SSP.THIS VIAGRA IS VERY DANGEROUS,PLEASE DON'T USE IT.IF YOU ARE IMPOTENT,THEN STOP MASTURBATING AND USE THE MUSTARD OIL.
ONCE,I WAS IN LOKHANDWALA IN MUMBAI,WE WERE TO ORGANISE A COCKTAIL PARTY,BECAUSE MR. GURU(MULTI BILLIONAIRE INDUSTRIALIST) ARRIVED FROM TANZANIA.I CALLED MR. MAC MOHAN,MR.SUDHIR,MR. BOB KRISTO,MR. MOHAN SINGH(A RENOWNED REAL ESTATE CONSULTANT OF LOKHANDWALA) FOR A DRINK.I BOUGHT VAT69 SCOTCH WHISKY FOR MR. SUDHIR.MR. GURU ,WHO BAUGHT A FLAT IN LOKHANDAWALA IN RS. 80 LAKHS IN THE YEAR 2001,NOW IT COSTS 2.5 CRORES OF RUPEES WITH THE HELP OF MR. MOHAN SINGH,CALLED 3 CALL GIRLS TO FUCK.THEN HE ORDERED HIS SERVANT TO BUY A VIAGRA,BECAUSE HIS PENIS WAS NOT STANDING.
NOW THINK,WHEN A PERSON HAS LOT OF MONEY,HE BECOMES USELESS.HE WAS 60 YEARS OLD.WHEN THE PERSON HAS A STRONG PENIS,HE DOESN'T HAVE THE MONEY.DON'T BELIEVE,THEN ASK MR. MOHAN SINGH ABOUT IT.
TODAY,I HAVE THE CAPABILITY TO TEAR EVEN THE MOST TORNED VAGINA OF THE WORLD,BUT DON'T HAVE MY FEMALE PRETTIEST EUROPEAN FEMALE PARTNER FOR LOVE AND SEX.THIS IS THE RESULT OF CAPITALISM.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

A SUGGESTION FOR THE NASA SCIENTISTS.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.30TH JAN.,2010.ARE YOU TRYING TO REACH THE SUN,OR REACH INDIA?IF YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH THE SUN,YOU ARE WASTING YOUR COUNTYRY'S MONEY,YOU WOULD NEVER REACH.IF YOU ARE TRYING TO COLONISE THIS WORLD,THEN AGAIN YOU ARE WASTING YOUR MONEY.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

A SUGGESTION FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.30THJAN,2010.THE US SECURITY IS COMPLETELY BASED ON THE ELECTRONIC DEVICES,LIKE COMPUTERS,CELL PHONES ETC.WHO MADE THESE DEVICES?MEN.IF THE MAN ITSELF HAS SO MANY LOOP HOLES,HOW HIS DEVICES ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE THE LOOP HOLES.THERE ARE MANY LOOP HOLES IN YOUR SECURITY SYSTEMS.DON'T BELIEVE.
MOST OF MY REJECTED DISCIPLES OF MUSIC ARE ENTERING YOUR COUNTRY WITH THE FAKE PASSPORTS AND VISAS.DO YOU KNOW ABOUT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM?YOU DON'T KNOW.THEY WOULD DEVASTATE YOUR COUNTRY.SO,REMAIN CAUTIOUS.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

'THE RECRUIT'--A BETTER MOVIE,IT'S PLUS AND MINUS.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.THIS IS RINKU ADARSH REPORTING FROM PATNA,DATED ,30TH JAN.,2010.YESTERDAY I SAW THE MOVIE 'THE RECRUIT' ON THE STAR MOVIES CHANNEL.MR. AL PACINO WAS GOOD,BUT HIS INSTRUCTOR WAS BETTER.
PLUSES-1.THE MOVIE WAS INFORMATIVE,ENERGETIC,ENTHUSIASTIC.
2.IT GAVE INFORMATIONS ABOUT THE CIA.
3.I AGREE THAT WHATEVER WE READ IN THE NEWS PAPERS OR WATCH ON THE TELEVISIONS ARE VIRTUAL.IT'S THE HARSH TRUTH TO DIGEST.
MINUSES-1.THE INSTRUCTOR BEHAVED LIKE A SADIST ULTIMATELY,HE SHOULD NOT HAVE GIVEN HIS LIFE,BUT SAVED IT.
2.THE MUSIC PORTION WAS AN AVERAGE,THE NOTES PLAYED ON THE LOWER OCTAVES SYNCHRONISED WITH THE SITUATION,WAS GOOD.BUT,PLAYED ON THE MIDDLE OCTAVE WAS NOT MELODIOUS AND FAILED TO SYNCHRONISE WITH THE SITUATION.
3.THE MUSIC LACKED VARIATIONS.
BUT,BETTER THAN BOLLYWOOD MOVIES.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

CONGRATULATIONS TO BBC WORLD WIDE NEWS.

DEAR BBC WORLD WIDE NEWS REPORTERS,
HELLO.I LIKE YOUR CHANNEL VERY MUCH.IT'S EXTREMELY FANTASTIC.IT'S VERY INFORMATIVE.THE STANDARD IS EXCELLENT.THE FEMALE REPORTERS ARE EXTREMELY PRETTY,ESPECIALLY THAT WHITE PRETTY FEMALE REPORTER.THANK YOU VERY MUCH.MY ALL THE SUPPORTS ARE WITH YOU.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

WHITE EUROPEAN PRETTIEST GIRLS-WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

DEAR PRETTIEST EUROPEAN GIRLS,
HELLO.WISH YOU ALL OF YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR.I LIKE YOU PEOPLE VERY MUCH.SPOILING MY LIFE WAITING FOR SOMEBODY FROM YOU TO COME AND TELL YES TO ME.BUT,I AM A BROWN PERSON.AM I THE CULPRIT FOR MY BROWN COLOUR,OR THE SUN RAYS?WHY IS THERE SO MUCH OF COLOUR DISCRIMINATION IN THIS WORLD?WHY ARE YOU SPOILING MY LIFE.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

MRS.KATE WINSLET--WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

DEAR MRS. KATE WINSLET,
HELLO.I CONGRATULATE YOU FOR DELIVERING SUCH A FANTASTIC ROLE IN THE MOVIE 'TITANIC'.YOU WERE VERY EMOTIONAL,VERY HONESTAND EXTREMELY PRETTY.I OFTEN DREAM TO HAVE A LIFE PARTNER LIKE YOU.BUT,I KNOW THAT THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE,BECAUSE I AM A BROWN PERSON,ISN'T IT?
REGARDS,
RINKU ADARSH

MRS. NICOLE KIDMAN-WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

DEAR MRS. NICOLE KIDMAN,
HELLO.I OFTEN SEE YOU ENDORSING PRODUCTS IN THE MAGAZINES.YOU ARE EXTREMELY PRETTY.I DREAM TO HAVE A LIFE PARTNER LIKE YOU.MAY I SING FEW LINES FOR YOU?
'PRETTY WOMAN,TAK-TAK,TEREKITTAK DHATEREKITTAK
YOU ARE EXTREMELY ROMANTIC TAK-TAK
NO-NO,PRETTIER WOMAN,YOU ARE SO FANTASTIC
NO-NO,PRETTIEST WOMAN TAK-TAK,YOU ARE SO EROTIC
GOD MADE YOU,TAK-TAK,ESPECIALLY FOR MR. TOM CRUISE,
PRETTY,PRETTIER,PRETTIEST WOMAN,HOW DID YOU LIKE MY THIS SONG'.
REGARDS,
RINKU ADARSH

H.E. GEORGE BUSH AND BILL CLINTON

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.THIS IS RINKU ADARSH REPORTING FROM PATNA,DATED 29TH JAN.,2010.
DEAR SIRS,
HELLO.WHENEVER I SEE YOU GIVING SPEECHES ON THE TELEVISION,I FEEL EXTREMELY HAPPY.IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BECOME SMARTER LIKE YOU.PLEASE INKLE ME.I LOVE YOU.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

MASTURBATION--IS EXREMELY DANGEROUS.

DEAR READERS,
PLEASE NEVER MASTURBATE,BECAUSE A SINGLE DROP OF SPERM OR OVUM COSTS MILLIONS OF DOLLARS.PREVENTING ,MASTURBATION WOULD MAKE YOU A DISEASE FREE PERSON.YOU WOULD FEEL ENERGETIC,FRESH AND STRONGER.SO,PLEASE AVOID IT.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

MR. AMRISH PURI---KYAA 20-40 HAZAAR KAROD KE CHAKKAR MEIN PADE HOOE HAIN.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.28TH JAN.,2010.THIS IS RINKU ADARSH REPORTING FROM PATNA.THIS IS AN IMAGINATION.THE CHARACTERS ARE 'R','A'(MR. AMRISH PURI),'M'(MR. MAC MOHAN),'S'(SUDHIR),'B'(MR.BOB KRISHTO),'K'(MR. KESTO MUKHERJEE),'J'(JULIE),'W'(MR. WILLIAM-POLICE INSPECTOR).HERE 'R' IS MR. YAMRAAJ SINGH.
A-AAIYE AAIYE MR. YAMRAAJ SINGH JI,KAAHE KE LIYE SADAK PAR BHATAK RAHE HAIN,AAIYE IS BIDESHI GAADI MEIN BAITHIYE.
R-HAM PAEDLE THEEK HAIN,AAP GHOOMIYE E BIDESI GADIYAA MEIN.
A-BARKHUDDAR MAIN AAPKO ZANNAT KI SHAER KARAAONGA,KYAA 20-40 HAZAAR KAROD RUPAYA KE CHAKKAR MEIN FANSE HOOE HAIN.
R-AAP KITNA DIJIYEGA?
A-KHARABON-KHARAB.
R-CHALIYE BAETH JAATE HAEN.
A-MILIYE HAMARE NAYE MEHMAAN SE,MR. YAMRAAJ SINGH NAAM HAYE INKA.YE HAIN MR. MAC MOHAN,SUDHIR,BOB KRISHTO,MISS JULIE,MR. KESTO MUKHERJEE,MR. WILLIAM,MR. SHETTY.
R-GLAD TO MEET YOU.KAHIYE KYOON BOOLAYAA MUJHE?
A-AAPKO 'SWISS BANK' LOOTNA HAYE.
R-KYAA MAIN AAPKO LOOTERA LAGTA HOON?
A-AAP TO WO HEERA HAIN JISKA KADAR HAMARE JAISA JAOHARI HI KAR SAKTA HAYE.
R-MAIN KOI HEERA-WEERA NAHIN HOON,MAIN TO MR. YAMRAAJ SINGH HOON.
A-IS LIYE TO HUM AAPKE KADRADAAN HAIN.
A-JULIE INKAA SWAGAT KARO AUR AAJ JASHNA KA DIN HAYE.PIYO-PILAO AUR APNE HUSNA KA JALWA DIKHAO INKO.
J-OK BOSS.
J-AAIYE NA ,AAPKO MAIN APNE HUSNA SE NAHLA DETI HOON.
R-NAHLAIYE.
J-PEHLE MERE GORE-GORE HAANTHON SE YE JAAM TO PILIJIYE MERE KAATIL.
R-PILAIYE,LEKIN KHOOB BADHINYAA SE PILAIYEGA,KAAHE KI HAMMAR MIJAAJ BINA 2-4 BOTAL PILE THEEK NAHIN HOTA HAYE.
J-CHARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.PIJIYE,KHOOB PIJIYE.
R-HAMMAR SAMANO PIJLE HAYE .
J-AB YE GAANA SOONIYE.'DHEERE DHEERE KHOLOONGI MAIN SAARE RAAJ BADAN KE'
R-MAIN KAHAAN HOON.
J-AAP YAHIN HAYEN .
R-TO TUM KAHAAN HO.
J-MAIN BHI YAHAAN HOON.
R-HAYE RE TERI JAWAANI,MERI JAANEMAN TUM TO SHABNAM HO.
J-AUR AAP SHOLA HAIN.
J-LIJIYE BHAR PET MUJHE,PYAAS BOOJHAA DIJIYE MERI,KAATIL JI.
R-GHAP-GHAP-GHAP-GHAP.
J-ZARA DHEERE -DHEERE,BAHAOT DOOKHTA HAYE.
R-TA JAIYE DOOSRA SE CHODWAIYE.HUM NAHIN CHODENGE.
A-KYAA HOOA?
J-YAHI SAB SADAL-SADAL LAONDIYAA RAKHTE HAIN ,AUR APNE KO BADKA KHARABPATIYE SAMAJHTE HAIN.
R-MAIN JAA RAHAA HOON.
B+M+S+W+J---HANDS UP AGAR BHAAGNE KI KOSHISH KI TO.
R-TADTADTADTADTADTADTAD.FINISH.56 WA KE JAADO DEKHE.
A-AAPNE HAMAARE SABHI AADMIYON KO BHOON DIYA.
R-YE AAPOON KA STYLE HAYE,TRITIYE VISHWA YUDH CHAL RAHA HAYE NA.
A-HANDS UP,MAIN TUMHAARA KHOON PIJAAONGA.
R-TADTADTADTADTAD.FINISH.
K-HEEYA,HEEYA,TUM BAHAOT BHAALO KIYAA .ZARA HUMKO DAARU PILAO.
R-E JETNA DAARU RAKHAL SAB AAP PI JAAIYE.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

'MILE SOOR MERE'MICHAEL JACKSON'S,AND KYAA KAROON SAJNI ARE THE ARTICLES OF 27TH JAN.2010.

'KYAA KAROON SAJNI AAYE NAA BAALAM'

DEAR READERS,
'KYAA KAROON SAJNI AAYE NA BAALAM'.ARE BHAI,BAALAM KAISE AAYENGE,TANI E HAMKO BATAIYE.PACKAGE(RUPAIYA) NA CHAHIYE,TA BATAIYE BAALAM JI KAISE AAYENGE,AAYEN.CHAHE RUPAIWA CHOONIYE ,BIDESHI NAKAL BAND KIJIYE,NAHIN TA APNE BALAMAWA KO CHOONIYE.CHIT BHI AAPHI KA AUR PAT BHI AAPHI KA.WAAH RE SWAARTHI SAJNI.AB KAONO BAALAM NAHIN AAYENGE ROOPAIWE SE KAAM CHALA LIJIYE.SAMAJH GAIN SAJNIYA LOG.HAAN KAH DETE HAIN.BALAMAWA BOODBAK NAHIN HAYE.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

BANAARSI'S PAAN ARE THE BEST IN THE WORLD.

DEAR READERS,
THE PAAN OF BANARAS IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD.THAT'S WHY MR. KISHORE KUMAR SANGED THIS SONG'KHAIKE PAAN BANARAS WAALA AUR...............KHOOL JAYE BAND AKAL KA TAALA.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

PRINCESS DIANA-'WHERE IS MR. MICHAEL JACKSON'.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.THERE ARE 2 CHARACTERS 'PD' AND 'R'.
PD-WHERE IS MR. MICHAEL JACKSON?
R-HE MIGHT BE GIVING HIS CONCERT ON THE TWIN TOWERS OF NEWYORK.
PD-PLEASE CALL HIM.
R-HE JUMPED FROM THE TWIN TOWERS.
PD-WHY?
R-THE TWIN TOWER IS NO MORE.
PD-AND MR. JACKSON?
R-HE COMITTED A SUICIDE.
PD-PLEASE DON'T JOKE AND CALL HIM.
R-HE WAS DRUNK AND LOST HIS BALANCE DURING HIS CAR DRIVE.
PD-IN WHICH HOSPITAL IS HE ADMITTED?
R-IN YOUR'S HOSPITAL.
PD-BUT,I AM IN A DIFFERENT WORLD.
R-HE IS ALSO IN A DIFFERENT WORLD.
PD-WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?
R-THE SAME CONSPIRACY THAT KILLED YOU,KILLED HIM ALSO.
PD-WHAT'S HAPPENING RINKU?
R-PLEASE ASK YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS.
PD-THIS GREED FOR MONEY IS EATING THE EARTH.
R-DEFINITELY.I AM ALSO STANDING IN THE SAME QUE TO BE CONSPIRED.
PD-WHAT WOULD YOU DO NOW?
R-BURN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

CONGRATULATION TO THE'TIMES GROUP OF PUBLICATIONS' ON 'MILE SOOR MERA TUMHAARA'.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.THIS IS RINKU ADARSH REPORTING FROM PATNA.THERE ARE 2 CHARACTERS -'T' FOR TANNA MISHRA JI(TAANSEN) AND 'R'.
R-YESTERDAY'S 'MILE SOOR MERA TUMHAARA' WAS FANTASTIC.I CONGRATULATE ALL THE PARTICIPANTS.BUT,.................TANNA MISHRA JI PLEASE TELL WHAT WAS THE MISTAKE.
T-NOW YOU TELL,BECAUSE MY MIND IS NOT WORKING.
R-IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN'MILE NAAD MERA TUMHAARA,TO SHRUTI MILE HAMAARA'
'JAB SHRUTI MILE MERA TUMHAARA,TAB JAAKARKE MILE SOOR MERA TUMHAARA'.
T-WAAH-WAAH,WAAH-WAAH.
R-SAMJHE NAA.BINA SANGEET SIKHE HOOE YAHI SAB OOLTA-POOLTA LIKHWAIYEGA AUR SOONWAIYEGA TO AAPKA AKHBAAR TO CHALNE SE RAHA.STOP COPYING THE WESTERN CULTURE ,PRINTING NAKED PHOTOGRAPHS OF THE INNOCENT GIRLS IN YOUR NEWS PAPER.PLEASE DON'T MAKE INDIA THE KHICHDI OF CULTURES.PRESENT IT'S ORIGINALITY.THEN ONLY THIS COUNTRY WOULD PROSPER.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

A CORRECTION.

PD-PLEASE EXCUSE THEM.
R-NEVER AND NEVER.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

BEWARE!PAAN PARAAG PAAN MASALA,RAJNIGANDHA PAANMASALA AND TULSI MANUFACTURERS.

DEAR MANUFACTURERS OF THESE PAAN MASALAS AND TULSI,
HELLO.I WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT PEOPLE ARE SPOILING YOUR BRANDS NAME BY PUTTING STONE CHIPS INSIDE YOUR PAAN MASALA.I AM THE VICTIM OF THIS.PLEASE SAVE IT OR YOU WOULD HAVE TO CLOSE THESE PAAN MASALAAS FOREVER.PLEASE CHECK IT IN PATNA.THE DUPLICATE BRANDS ARE RULING OVER THE ORIGINAL ONE.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

PRINCESS DIANA-RINKU,I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOU.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.'PD' FOR PRINCESS DIANA AND 'R'.
PD-HI RINKU.TODAY I AM ANGRY FROM YOU.
R-WHY?
PD-YOU PROMISED ME TO COME IN THE EVENING AND YOU ARE COMING AFTER A WEEK'S TIME.
R-SORRY,I WENT TO INDIA.
PD-WHY, DIDN'T YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE IN MY PALACE?
R-IT WAS VERY COMFORTABLE,BUT I FEARED TO COME BECAUSE PEOPLE WOULD START CALLING ME THAT I AM YOUR FLATTERER.
R-YESTERDAY IN INDIA PEOPLE ABUSED ME AS THE FLATTERER OF MR .AMITABH BACHCHAN.
PD-WHO IS THIS AMITABH BACHCHAN?
R-HE IS A POPULAR INDIAN ACTOR.
PD-THESE PEOPLE HAVE ONLY PLACED ME APART FROM YOU.YOU KNOW IT VERY WELL.
R-I AM TAKING YOUR'S REVENGE.
PD-BUT,PLEASE TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS.
R-I WILL.
PD-RINKU,MAY I DARE TO SAY YOU ONE THING?
R-PLEASE.
PD-I LOVE YOU VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY MUCH.IF YOU WOULD HAVE COME EARLIER,I WOULD HAVE MARRIED YOU.
R-I ALSO LOVE YOU VERY ,VERY,VERY,VERY,VERY,VERY,VERY,VERY.................INFINITY ,MUCH.
PD-PLEASE PLAY A ROMANTIC TUNE FOR ME.
R-SA,GA,MA,NI,SA,SA,NI,DHA ,MA GA ,SA,SASA,MAMA,GAA,NINI,DHADHA,SASA,NINI,SASA,MAMA,GAGA,MAMA,GAGA,MA...................SA,SAA................................MAMA,SAGASAGA,SASAGAGAMAMANINIDHADHANINISASASASASAMAMAMAMAMANININININIDHDHDHA..............................SASASASA.
.............SASASASADHAHDHAMAMANINIGAGAGASA..............MAMA...............SASA.............NINI.
PD-STOP IT.IT'S VERY PAINFUL.IT MAKES ME CRY.I START REMEMERING MY PAST.
R-PLEASE DON'T CRY,I WOULD NEVER LET YOU CRY.PLEASE FOR MY SAKE DON'T CRY.FORGET THE PAST,NOW I WILL FULFILL ALL YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS.
PD-PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON'T EVER FORGET ME.
R-PROMISE,NEVER AND NEVER AND NEVER.
PD-I WAN'T TO KISS YOU,PLEASE COME NEARER.
R-PLEASE.
PD-CHAPCHAPCHAPCHAPOOOCHCHCH.OH,EXTREMELY SWEET,SMELLS LIKE A FRESH ORANGE.
R-LET ME KISS YOU.CHUCHUCHUCHU,MY DEAREST DARLING CHUCHUCHU.OH! IT SMELLS LIKE A FRESH GRAPES.
PD-NOW,FORGET THE WORLD AND STAY NEARER TO ME FOR EVER.
R-BUT,WHO WOULD TAKE YOUR REVENGE?
PD-PLEASE EXCUSE THEM>
R-NO,NEVER AT ANY COST.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

A SUGGESTION FOR THE AIR HOSTESSES AND AIRCRAFTS PROPRIETORS OF THE WORLD.

DEAR AIRHOSTESSES,
HELLO.HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU.TODAY I READ IN THE NEWS PAPER NAMED'THE TIMES OF INDIA,MUMBAI',THAT THE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN THE INFLIGHT PASSENGERS STARE UPON YOU LIKE A HUNGARY LION.MY SUGGESTION IS THAT YOU SHOULD FEEL PROUD ABOUT IT,BECAUSE THEY STARE UPON YOU ONLY BECAUSE YOU LOOK PRETTY.THIS INDICATES THAT YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL IN YOUR FLIGHT OPERATIONS.
I ALSO STARE UPON THE AIR HOSTESSES DURING MY FLIGHTS.IF ANY OF THE AIR HOSTESSES WOULD HAVE GOT HURT FROM ME,THEN I AM GOING TO PAY A HEAVY PENALTY FOR THIS.MY PENALTY IS-
1.FREE SUPPLY OF WINES TO ALL THE AIRCRAFTS OF THE WORLD CONTINUOUSLY FOR 2 YEARS.THIS WINE WOULD BE THE BEST AND THE MOST EXPENSIVE WINE OF THE WORLD.THE NAME OF MY WINE IS 'NASHAA' A TABLA SOLO ALBUM FOR THE GLOBAL CITIZENS.I AM SURE IT WOULD BOOST YOUR SALES BY 20%.THE NAMES OF THE AIRCRAFTS ARE-
1.THE UNITED AIR LINES(USA)
2.DELTA
3.CATHAY PACIFIC
4.BRITISH AIRWAYS
5.KLM
6.LUFTHANSA
7.AEROFLOT
8.AIRFRANCE
9.AIRINDIA
10.ALITALIA
11.SINGAPORE AIRLINES
12.JAPAN AIR LINES
13.QATAR AIRWAYS
14.SWISS AIRWAYS ETC.
IF THIS WON'T WORK,THEN IT WOULD BE AN INDICATION THAT THE GLOGAL CITIZENS HAVE LOST THEIR FEELINGS,EMOTIONS(EHSAAS).THEN ,I WOULD SUPPLY MY EMOTIONS(EHSAAS) MUSIC ALBUM FREE OF COST TO THE ABOVE MENTIONED AIRCRAFTS ,SO THAT THEIR PAINS ARE REMOVED.BEST OF LUCK FOR ALL THE AIRHOSTESSES.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH
CHAIRMAN,ALLAUDDIN KHAN MUSIC PVT. LTD.,INDIA

PLEASE COMPLETELY BOYCOTT THIS COMING ELECTION OF BIHAR

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.PLEASE BOYCOTT THIS COMING ELECTION COMPLETELY IN BIHAR BECAUSE IT WOULD BE BASED ON THE EVM(ELECTRONIC VOTING MACHINE).THIS MACHINE IS EASILY MANIPULATED.SO,WHETHER YOU GIVE YOUR VOTES OR NOT,IT'S HARDLY GOING TO MATTER.THE DEMOCRACY HAS BEEN HACKED BY THE EVM MACHINE.THE CURRENTLY RUNNING CENTRAL GOVERNMENT IS ALSO RULING BY HACKING THE DEMOCRACY.THEY MANIPULATED THE EVM MACHINE AND CAME TO THE MAJORITY.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

PLEASE BOYCOTT THIS COMING ELECTION-A VIRTUAL ELECTION.

ABHISHEK BACHCHAN JI---SOONIYE

DEAR ABHISHEK,
HELLO.'AGAR RASHMI JI MUJHE TILAK LAGAANE AAYENGI TO MAIN BILKOOL MOONH DHONE KE LIYE CHALA JAOONGA .ARCHANA JI,RACHNA JI,POOJA JI,SONALI JI,RAVEENA JI,KAJOL JI ITYAADI AAYENGI TO BHI MAIN MOONH DHONE KE LIYE CHALA JAAONGA.HAAN,AGAR RAJKUMARI BEATRICEA JI ,LONDON SE MUJHE TILAK LAGAANE AAYENGI ,TO MAIN AWASHYA HI MOONH DHONE KE LIYE NAHIN JAAONGA,BALKI OONSE BAATEN BHI KAROONGA'.AB RAJKUMARI DIANA JI KO TO LOGONE MUJHSE CHIN LIYA.TO AB RAAJKUMARI BEATRICEA JI HI NA BACH GAIN.SAMAJH GAYE NA.WO KYAA HAYE KI AAPOON KA STANDARD BAHOOT HIGH HO GELA HAYE.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

SIR,WHY DON'T YOU BECOME A STAR?

THERE ARE 2 CHARACTERS 'SS' FOR SAMSHER SINGH AND 'R'.
SS-SIR,WHY DON'T YOU BECOME A STAR?
R-BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE CAPABILITY TO BECOME IT.
SS-WHY?
R-BECAUSE NO BODY IN THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE COULD EVEN DREAM TO BECOME A STAR.THEY ARE VERY FAR FROM US IN THE UNIVERSE ,WE CAN'T REACH THERE.THEY ARE THE HEAVENLY BODIES.
SS-UNDERSTOOD.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

SIR,WHY DON'T YOU BECOME A STAR?

THERE IS A PLENTY OF WEALTH HIDDEN BENEATH,RAJENDRA NAGAR,PATNA.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.I WENT TO THE PATNA MUSEAUM AND SAW A STATUE DUGGED FROM THE RAJENDRA NAGAR DATED 2,000 YEARS BC.IT MEANS THAT BENEATH RAJENDRA NAGAR MANY PALACES ARE HIDDEN,MANY TREASURIES ARE HIDDEN FULL OF PRECOIUS DIAMONDS,GOLD ,PLATINUM AND MANY PRECIOUS GEMS.THERE IS AN EXTREME NEED FOR THE ARCHAELOGISTS TO START EXCAVATING ,RAJENDRA NAGAR,PATNA.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

MY REQUEST TO THE BIHARIS AND UPITES LIVING IN MUMBAI.

DEAR BIHARIS AND UPITES OF MUMBAI,
HELLO.HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU.PLEASE LEAVE MUMBAI AND COME BACK TO YOUR STATES.IF YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE RESPECT IN MUMBAI COME BACK.LET ME SEE HOW MUMBAI RUNS WITHOUT THE BIHARIS AND UPITES.THERE WOULD BE TREMENDOUS JOB OPPORTUNITIES IN YOUR RESPECTIVE STATES.LEAVE MUMBAI,BECAUSE IT'S NOT A 'KIEV'.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

ANOTHER ATTACK ON ME.TODAY.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.THERE ARE 2 CHARACTERS 'SS' FOR MR. SAMSHER SINGH AND 'R'.
SS-SIR DID YOU READ THE NEWS PAPER TODAY?
R-NO.
SS-THE TOP HEADING IS 'AB RAJ THACKERAY NE JAHAR OOGLA'.
R-SO,WHAT HAVE I TO TAKE FROM THIS?
SS-SIR,'AB' MEANS AFTER YOUR YESTERDAYS STATEMENT.
R-WHICH NEWS PAPER DID PRINT THIS?
SS-SIR,HINDUSTAN ,PATNA,NEWS PAPER.
R-WHO IS THE HEAD OF THIS NEWS PAPER?
SS-SIR,MRS. SHOBHNA BHARTIYAA BIRLA.
R-OK.GO TO NEW DELHI AND ASK HER THAT HOW MUCH MONEY DOES SHE POSESSES?
SS-SIR,SHE IS A MULTI BILLIONNAIRE.
R-GO AND TELL HER TO CUT ALL THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF MAHATMA GANDHI FROM HER CURRENCIES AND THEN ,LET HER COME COME ON THE STREET AS A BEGGAR.
SS-YES SIR, I WOULD DO IT.
R-PLEASE TELL HER TO STOP PRINTING ARTICLES THAT DEMORALISES THE INDIAN CITIZENS,OTHERWISE ALL THE NEWSPAPER IN INDIA WOULD BE BANNED.
SS-OK SIR.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

BHARAT RATNA PANDIT RAVI SHANKAR GURU JI.

DEAR GURU JI,
HAPPY NEW YEAR.YOU MIGHT BE KNOWING THAT I HAVE STARTED A MUSIC COMPANY NAMED'ALLAUDDIN KHAN MUSIC PVT. LTD.THE MUSLIMS ARE THINKING THAT I KEPT THIS NAME BECAUSE I FEAR FROM THEM AND HAVE STARTED ABUSING ME AS A 'CHAMCHAA OF MR. AMITABH BACHCHAN',THOUGH I KEPT THIS NAME BECAUSE HE GAVE BIRTH TO MUSICIANS LIKE YOU.THEY ATTACKED ME PHYSICALLY AND ABUSED ME YESTERDAY.I AM PROTECTING THEM FROM THE AMERICAN ATTACKS AND THEY ARE CALLING ME A CHAMCHAA.THEY ARE JUMPING ON MR. LALOO PRASAD YADAV,MR. OSAMA BIN LADEN,MR. DAWOOD IBRAAHIM.WHAT SHOULD I DO?
GURU JI-I HAVE FAITH IN YOU THAT WHATEVER YOU WOULD DO ,WOULD BE AN EXCELLENT ONE.
R-I GIVE THEM MY LAST WARNING AND AFTER THAT MY TROOPS WOULD START HELPING THE AMERICAN TROOPS AND DEVASTATE THE ENTIRE ISLAAMIC COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD.'THE LAST WARNING'.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

ZAKIR BHAI(USTAAD ZAKIR HUSSAIN)-HAPPY NEW YEAR.

DEAR ZAKIR BHAI,
HELLO.HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU.THE MUSLIMS ARE ABUSING ME AND ATTACKING ME PHYSICALY.THEY ARE EXTREMELY ILLITERATE AND JUMPING ON MR. LALOO PRASAD YADAV,MR. OSAMA BIN LADEN AND MR. DAWOOD IBRAAHIM.I AM EXCUSING THEM ONLY BECAUSE OF YOU.WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Z-DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO.I WON'T FEEL BAD EVEN IF YOU DEVASTATE THE ENTIRE ISLAAMIC COUNTRIES.
R-I AM PROTECTING THEM FROM THE AMERICAN ATTACKS AND THEY ARE CALLING ME THE CHAMCHAA OF MR. AMITABH BACHCHAN.
Z-DO,WHATEVER YOU WISH TO DO.
R-I WANT EACH AND EVERY MUSLIM OF INDIA TO LEAVE INDIA AND GO BACK TO PAKISTAAN.
Z-PLEASE SEND THEM BACK.
R-THANKYOU ZAKIR BHAI.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

ATYAACHAAR.

DEAR READERS,

HELLO.THERE ARE 2 CHARACTERS 'SS' FOR MR. SAMSHER SINGH AND'R'.

SS-SIR,I AM VERY SAD TODAY.

WHY?

SS-YESTERDAY YOU WENT TO THE KHUDA BAKSHA LIBRARY TO STUDY THE ANCIENT MANUSCRIPTS OF INDIA AND THEY DIDN'T PERMITTED YOU.

R-BUT,THEY TOLD ME THAT THE MOST ANCIENT MANUSCRIPTS THEY HAVE IS OF 6TH CENTURY AD.THEY DON'T HAVE ANY RECORDS OF BC.

SS-AFTER THAT YOU WENT TO THE CHICKEN SHOP TO BUY CHICKENS,THERE THEY ABUSED YOU TELLING'KHAALI UNCLE-UNCLE KAHKAR AMITABH BACHCHAN KO POTE HOOE HAYE'.AND THEY WERE ALL MUSLIMS.YOU ARE PROTECTING THEM FROM THE AMERICANS AND THEY ARE ABUSING YOU.YOU SHOULD LET THE MUSLIMS BE KILLED AND LET THEM GO BACK TO THE HELL.AMERICA IS DOING THE RIGHT THING THAT IT'S DESTROYING THEM.

R-I AM PROTECTING THEM BECAUSE ,THEIR RELIGION IS A NEW ONE ,AND OUR'S RELIGION NAMED AS 'HINDU RELIGION' IS EXTREMELY OLD.I WENT TO THE PATNA MUSEAUM AND SAW A 20 CRORES OLD TREE THERE AND MANY ARCHAELOGICAL STATUES DATED 1,000BC-5,000BC.SO,ITS OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO SAVE BOTH 'THE CHRISTIAN RELIGION' AS WELL AS THE 'ISLAAMIC RELIGION'.WE ARE THE MOST CULTURED ,CIVILISED PEOPLE OF THE WORLD.

SS-BUT THERE SHOULD BE A LIMIT TO A TOLERANCE.THEY ATTACKED YOU 3 YEARS BACK NEAR THE S.P. VERMA ROAD AND FOUGHT WITH YOU.WHY ARE THEY JEALOUS OF YOU?

R-BECAUSE THEY THINK THAT MR. LALOO PRASAD YADAV,MR.OSAMA BIN LADEN,MR. DAWOOD IBRAHIM ARE GOING TO PROTECT THEM.THEY ARE JUMPING ON THEM.

SS-SO,WHAT TO DO?

R-LET ME FIRST TALK TO USTAAD ZAKIR HUSSAIN SAHEB AND THEN I WOULD DECIDE.

SINCERELY,

RINKU ADARSH

THE ENTIRE CINEMA HALLS OF THE WORLD ARE 'HOUSEFULL'.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.THERE ARE THREE CHARACTERS-'RK' FOR RAMKHELAWAN,'R' AND 'SS'(SAMSHER SINGH)-A SHAHNAI PLAYER .
R-MR. RAMKHELAWAN ,WHAT IS MR. MR. SAMSHER SINGH DOING?
RK-SIR,HE IS PALING SAPAATA.
R-PLEASE CALL HIM?
SS-YES SIR.
R-HOW MANY SAPAATAS DID YOU PALED TODAY?
SS-SIR 500 SAPAATAAS NON-STOP.
R-IT SEEMS THAT YOU ARE VERY HAPPY.
SS-YES SIR.
R-WHY?
SS-SIR,I AM COMING FROM THE WORLD TOUR AND I SAW EACH AND EVERY CINEMA HALLS OF THE WORLD HAVE HUNGED THE BOARD OF HOUSEFULL IN ADVANCE FOR THE 5 YEARS FOR YOUR MOVIE'A LOVE STORY IN HEAVEN-KIEV'.THE TICKETS ARE GOING ON BLACK A $20 PER TICKET IS BEING SOLD FOR $ 500 EACH.AND THEY ARE SURE THAT THIS FILM WOULD RUN FOR NON-STOP 5 YEARS ALL AROUND THE WORLD.THAT'S WHY I AM HAPPY.
R-BUT I HAVEN'T STARTED MAKING MY FILM.
SS-PLEASE MAKE IT IMMEDIATELY.
R-FIRST OF ALL I HAVE TO MY 'NASHAA'(WINES) SUCCESSFUL AND WOULD LIKE EVERYBODY IN THIS WORLD TO DRINK IT AND GET ADDICTED TO IT.THEN I WOULD DEVELOP A 'EHSAAS'(EMOTIONS) AMONG THE GLOBAL CITIZENS SO THAT ALL OF THEIR PAINS ARE REMOVED AND THEY BECOME SENSITIVE.AFTER THAT THEY WOULD ENJOY THE MAGIC AND THE HEAVENLY POWER OF A TRUE LOVE BY WATCHING MY MOVIE 'A LOVE STORY IN HEAVEN-KIEV'.SO,NEED TO REMAIN PATIENT TILL THAT TIME.
SS-SIR,THE CINEMA HALLS PEOPLE ARE MAKING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN ADVANCE FROM YOUR MOVIE.
R-LET THEM DO IT.
SS-SIR,HOW MANY KINDS OF 'NASHAAS'(WINES) ARE THERE?
R-THERE ARE MANY KINDS OF WINES LIKE RED WINE,WHITE WINE,SPARKLING WINE,AROMATISED WINEETC.
SS-SIR,WHAT IS A SPARKLING WINE?
R-SPARKLING WINES ARE MADE IN THE CHAMPAGNE DISTRICT OF FRANCE.THAT'S WHY THEY ARE CALLED A CHAMPAGNE.
SS-HOW CHAMPAGNE IS MADE?
R-CHAMPAGNE IS MADE THROUGH THE METHOD CALLED'METHODE' CHAMPAGNOIS',AND 'MACERATION DE CARBONIQUE'.
SS-PLEASE EXPLAIN THESE METHODS.
R-I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO EXPLAIN IT.
SS-SO,I THINK THAT THE CHAMPAGNE WOULD DEFEAT YOUR 'NASHAA'(WINES).
R-NON OF THE WINES OF THE WORLD WOULD DEFEAT MY 'NASHAA'(WINES).
SS-PLEASE NAME A GOOD CHAMPAGNE TO DRINK.
R-PLEASE TRY 'DOM PERIGNON'.IT'S EXPENSIVE BUT VERY GOOD IN TASTE.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

PAZDRAVLAYU C NOVAI GODAM Z SOVIETSKI CAYUZ LUDIAI

ZDRASTUTE DRUJYA,
YA PAZDRABLAYU BASH C OCHIN KHAROSHAYE NOVEI GODAM.SOVIETSKI CAYUZ SAMYA KHAROSHAYA STRANA B SELE MIR.MINYA OCHIN NARABITSYA VAAS KULTURA,VASH KRASIBAYA ASTALITSU.MINYA OCHIN PANARABITSYA VASE 'ASTALICHNAYA VODKU'.VASH SHAMPAANSKI,VASH SAMYA KRASIBAYA DEBUSHEK B SELE MIR.
MAYA LENACHKA KATORE JHIL B KIEVIYE ZABIL.ANAA OCHIN SILNAYA PALUBILAS MINYA E DROOG DROOGAM.YA NI ZANAAYU KAK ANA JHIBIOT SICHAAS.EWO ZABOOT 'OOKRAINSKAAYA ALEONA VIKTAROVNA'.ANA IZUCHALAS B 'INTERNASNALNAYA KRISHCHANSKI UNIVERSITETA'-SESSIA-1994-1998 GADU.ANA JHILA NA ULITSYA GEROI SEVASTOPOL,DOMA 7A,NA CHITWARTIYE ETAAJHE.EWO MAMA ZABOOT'NEENA EVGENINA'.ANA KACHELAS ASTO YA BE CSTALSYA OCHIN BISOKIYE E EZWESTNIYE MUZIKANT.PAZALOOSTA SKAJHITE EWO ASTO YA PALUCHILSYA ETAWA.YAA ISHYO RAAZ PAZDRABLAYU WAASH CHAST E OCHIN KHAROSHAYE DAROBAYE.ASPASIBAA BALSHOI.
VAASH SAMAYE KHAROSHAYE DROOG,
RINKU ADARSH

IT'S FOOLISHNESS TO SAVE THE MONEY DURING THE RECESSION PERIOD.

DEAR READERS,
IT'S FOOLISHNESS TO SAVE THE MONEY INSIDE THE BANK DURING THE RECESSION PERIOD.SPEND AS MUCH AS YOU WISH AND SHOW YOUR FINANCIAL CAPABILITIES INFRONT OF THE WORLD.DHAN KA DO HAAL HOTA HAYE ,CHAHE BHOGIYE NAHIN TO OOSKA VINAASH HO JAYEGA.THEREFORE,PLEASE SPEND LAVISHLY IN YOUR DAUGHTER'S MARRIAGE,SON'S MARRIAGE,BIRTHDAY PARTIES,MARRIAGE ANNIVERSARIES,A MOVIE PREMIERE,MAKE LAVISH BUNGALOWS,SPEND LAVISHLY FOR ENJOYING YOUR HONEYMOON TRIPS,SPEND LAVISHLY FOR ACHIEVING YOUR PRE-MARITAL LOVE AFFAIRS AND SEX.INVOLVE YOUR SELF MORE AND MORE IN THE SEXUAL ACTIVITIES,NEVER USE A CONDOM DURING THE SEX AS IT WOULD DESTROY THE PLEASURE OF YOUR SEX.THE GIRLS SHOULD KNOW THE METHODS TO PROHIBIT HER PREGNANCY,DESPITE HER NOT USING OF CONDOMS.'DON'T WORRY,BE HAPPY'.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

'A NOTE FOR THE HISTORIANS OF THE WORLD'.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.THERE IS A NOTE FOR THE HISTORIANS OF THE WORLD.PLEASE WRITE IT AND PRESERVE IT ,SO THAT A COMING GENERATION AFTER 5,000 YEARS MIGHT BE ABLE TO READ IT.THE NOTE IS'INDIA WOULD NEVER BE CONQUERED BY ANY BODY OF THIS WORLD FOR A LONGER TIME,EVERY BODY WOULD COME HERE AND GO BACK',NO BODY IS GOING TO STAY HERE PERMANENTLY'.DON'T BELIEVE,PLEASE TRY IT.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

THE WORLD LOST THE BATTLE.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.'RK' FOR RAM KHELAWAN AND 'R'.
RK-SIR,ARE YOU FEELING(EHSAAS),THAT THE THE ENTIRE WORLD SURRENDERED BEFORE YOU?
R-HOW?I HAVEN'T STARTED MY 'MAHABHARAT' YET.
RK-SIR,PLEASE DON'T FOOL ME, YOUR 'EHSAAS' IS INVISIBLE LIKE A GOD.
R-BUT,AFTER ALL I AM GOING TO DEVASTATE THIS WORLD.
RK-WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF THE ENTIRE WORLD UNITES AND ATTACKS INDIA?
R-THEY WOULD AT MAX COME HERE LIKE A GUEST FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS ,ROB US,RAPE SOME GIRLS,KILL SOME OF US AND WOULD ULTIMATELY DEPART.
R-ARE YOU SEEING THE TREND ,PEOPLE ATTACKED INDIA AND DEPARTED LIKE A LOOSER.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

CHANAKYAA-'THE MORE A VAGINA IS USED,THE BETTER IT BECOMES.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.CHANAKYAA TOLD THAT 'THE MORE THE VAGINA OF A FEMALE IS FUCKED,THE MORE HER PERSONALITY WOULD SHINE'.THIS IS TRUE.VAGINA IS ACTUALLY MADE FOR FUCKING.IF YOU PUT A LOCK ON IT,THE GIRL'S PERSONALITY WON'T SHINE,RESULTING INTO DWARF,SHORT HEIGHTED OFFSPRINGS.LET HER BE FUCKED AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.FACE ANY TYPE OF DEFAMATIONS BOLDLY.
NOW,YOU WOULD OBVIOUSLY ASK THAT IF MY DAUGHTER OR WIFE IS FUCKED,WHAT WOULD I DO?I WOULD BE GLAD THAT SHE IS PROGRESSING A LOT.WHY INDIAN CITIZENS ARE SHORT HEIGHTED?WHY THE UKRAINIAN GIRLS,OR THE RUSSIAN GIRLS ARE EXTREMELY PRETTY,EXTREMELY TALL,EXTREMELY HAPPY AND THE MOST HAPPIEST DESPITE NOT BEING VERY RICH?THE REASON IS VERY SIMPLE.THEY ALWAYS GET THE SEX ,WHENEVER THEY WANT.THEY NEVER SUFFER THE SEXUAL FRUSTRATION.I FUCKED AN UKRAINIAN DOCTOR INFRONT OF HER HUSBAND,WHO WAS ALSO A DOCTOR.HE DIDN'T INTERFERED.
PRE-MARITAL SEX IS VERY SIGNIFICANT IN THE PROGRESS OF AN INDIVIDUAL'S PERSONALITY.SEX AND LOVE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN FOOD.FOOD ONLY FILLS THE STOMACH.BUT WHO IS GOING TO FILL THE HEART WITH THE LOVE?WIFE?NEVER.WIFE WOULD DESTROY HERSELF AS WELL AS YOUR CAREER.WHY?BECAUSE SHE NEVER GOT THE LOVE ,THEN WHY SHE WOULD GIVE IT TO YOU.WE ARE FACING MANY DIVORCES IN INDIA NOWADAYS.WHY?BECAUSE THE MARRIAGE IS NEGOTIATED ON THE BASIS OF THE BOY'S EARNING CAPABILITY.THERE IS EVERY THING IN INDIA EXCEPT THE FREEDOM FOR SEX,WHICH IS EXTREMELY VITAL.THIS IS THE REASON THAT MOST OF THE GOOD ENGINEERS,DOCTORSETC. AFTER COMPLETING THEIR EDUCATION RUSH TO THE WESTERN COUNTRIES.THEY CARRY WITH THEM LOT OF MONEY WITH THEM,WHICH SHATTERS OUR ECONOMY.THIS IS CALLED BRAIN-DRAIN.
WHY MOST OF THE STUDENTS PREFER TO GO TO THE WESTERN COUNTRIES FOR THEIR EDUCATION?ONLY FOR LOVE AND SEX,CARRYING WITH THEM LOT OF THEIR PARENT'S HARD EARNED MONEY.THE WESTERN STRATEGY IS TO CREATE A DEMAND FOR SEX AND MONEY THROUGH MOVIES AND THEN TRANSFER THE CITIZENS FROM INDIA TO THE WESTERN COUNTRIES.THAT'S WHY THE FILM INDUSTRY PEOPLE ARE EXTREMELY RICH PEOPLE.YOU WATCH A MOVIE FULL OF LOVE AND THEN START SEARCHING IT IN YOUR REAL LIFE AND YOU DON'T GET IT.20 YEARS AGO I ASKED ONE GIRL IN PATNA ,THAT'WHAT WAS HER NAME'?SHE REPLIED THAT SHE WOULD BEAT ME WITH HER SANDALS.WHY?SHE GOT AFRAID OF ME.SHE BECAME CAUTIOUS ABOUT HER VAGINA.FILM JALE PE NAMAK CHIDAKTA HAYE.
WHY THE STANDARD OF INDIAN MUSIC HAS GONE DOWN?BECAUSE THE TRUE MUSIC CATERS AS AN OINTMENT ON THE WOUNDS OF THE MIND AS WELL AS THE HEART.NOW,THIS OINTMENT IS ALSO LOST,MADE POLITICALLY LOST.NOW RUSH WITH HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY TO THE WESTERN COUNTRIES FOR LOVE AND SEX,BECAUSE THE FOOD OF THE HEART KNOWN AS MUSIC HAS LOST IN OBLIVION.
INDIAN RAILS,AIRCRAFTS ARE ALL DANGEROUS TO TRAVEL.ANYWHERE IT COULD DASH TO SOME OTHER TRAIN KILLING MOST OF US.MEANS ALL OF YOU COME TO THE WEST.THE POLITICIANS ARE PAID TO CREATE ALL THESE ACCIDENTS.HOW TO SAVE INDIA?MAKE IT A SEX FREE COUNTRY.EVERY THING WOULD BE NORMAL.THINK ABOVE THE CASTE,RELIGION AND MONEY.THINK ABOVE THE GREEN COLOUR,RED COLOUR,PEPSI COLOUR,YELLOW COLOUR ETC.MAKE A CLASSICAL MUSIC TRAINING IN YOUR LIFE COMPULSORY,HONESTLY FOR ATLEAST 10 YEARS AND THEN SEE YOUR GROWTH.
INDIA NEEDS LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,SEX,SEX,SEX,SEX,SEX ONLY TO PROSPER,NOTHING ELSE.DON'T COMMIT A SUICIDE IF YOUR LOVE IS LOST,SEARCH FOR THE OTHER ONE AND OTHER AND OTHER,TILL YOU FIND YOUR FLAVOUR.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

INSIDE ARCHAELOGICAL SURVEY OF INDIA.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.'A' FOR ARCHAELOGIST AND 'R'.
A-SIR,I LIKED YOUR DISCUSSION RELATED TO VIRGINITY OF A GIRL.I WOULD SUGGEST YOU THAT PLEASE USE C-14 DATING SYSTEM INSIDE THE VAGINA OF EACH GIRL,TO FIND THE HALF LIFE OF THE VAGINAL MEMBRANE.THIS WOULD BE THE PROOF OF VIRGINITY.
R-SIR,WHY NOT TO DIG IT AND FIND IF SOME ANCIENT CITIES WOULD HAVE BEEN INSIDE?
A-PLEASE DON'T JOKE.
R-THEN INSERT A NUCLEAR MISSILE INSIDE,AS THE NUCLEAR WEAPONS ARE ON HIGH DEMAND.
A-PLEASE EXCUSE ME.
R-HAA-HAA-HAA-HAA...........................................VIRGINS!
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

SANJU BABA-HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR

DEAR SANJU BHAIYA,
HELLO.WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR.DO YOU KNOW THAT WHEN I WENT TO MEET YOUR FATHER,5 DAYS BEFORE HIS DEPARTURE.THE GUARD TOLD ME TO COME AFTER 7 DAYS.I WAS STAYING IN BANDRA (W),NEAR THE CARTER ROAD IN AN APARTMENT.I WAS PREPARING FOR TOEFL AND GRE.I WAS HEARING TO THE RADIO AND SUDDENLY I HEARD'MR. SUNIL DUTT WAS A GREAT PERSON'.PLEASE HEAR THIS SONG FROM THE FILM 'ROCKY'.'KYAA YAHI PYAAR HAYE'.AND I RUSHED TO YOUR BUNGALOW .THERE I FOUND NO BODY BUT FEW TORNED SLIPPERS ON THE STREET.PEOPLE TOLD ME TO GO TO THE CREMATION GROUND.
THERE WAS A HUGE RUSH.ALL VIPS ARRIVED,SHOWED THEIR PRESENCE AND WENT AWAY,LEFT HIM BURNING ALONE.I GOT THE LAST CHANCE ,WHEN EVERY BODY WENT.THE TIME WHEN I REACHED NEAR HIM,I THINK ONLY ONE -FOURTH OF HIS BODY WOULD HAVE BEEN BURNT.THE REMAINING THREE-FOURTH OF HIS BODY WAS BURNING INFRONT OF ME.THE PRIEST TOLD ME TO GO AWAY AS THERE WAS NOTHING KEPT.I REPLIED ,WHAT IS KEPT ,YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND.I WAS TAKING THE HEAT FROM HIS BURNING BODY.I STOOD THERE TILL HE WAS COMPLETELY BURNT.OUR HINDU TRADITION DOESN'T ALLOW TO LEAVE SOMEBODY BURNING ALONE UNTILL HE TURNS INTO ASHES.WHAT I SPOKE WITH YOUR BURNING FATHER WOULD REMAIN A SECRET FOREVER.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

HOW I MET LENA.

DEAR READERS,
AN INTERESTING FACT.I OFTEN SEE BOYS RUNNING AFTER THE GIRLS AND THE GIRLS RUNNING AWAY FROM THE BOYS.I SEE THIS IN MY REAL LIFE AS WELL AS IN THE REEL LIFE.NOW,THE QUESTION ARISES,THAT WHY THIS HAPPENS ,SPOILING THE CAREER OF MILLIONS OF BOYS AND GIRLS IN INDIA.WHO IS THE CULPRIT,A BOY OR A GIRL.NONE OF THEM.THE BOY RUNS FOR LOVE AND THE GIRL RUNS AWAY TO SAVE HER VIRGINITY.WHY?BECAUSE SHE MIGHT BE DEFAMED AND NO BODY WOULD MARRY HER.ARE THE GIRLS WHO RUNS AWAY FROM THE BOYS A VIRGIN?IS THERE ANY INSTRUMENT TO MEASURE THE VIRGINITY.MOST OF MY REPUTED FRIENDS REPORTED ME THAT THEIR WIVES WHO BELONGED TO A GREAT FAMILY WERE NOT A VIRGIN.WHY IS THIS SEXUAL DISCRIMINATION AT IT'S ZENITH IN INDIA AND OTHER SOUTH ASIAN COUNTRIES.THIS IS THE BIGGEST HURDLE FOR THE PROGRESSIVE SUB-CONTINENT.HOW TO REMOVE IT?VERY SIMPLE,LET THEM MIX AND LET THEM DO WHATEVER THEY LIKE TO DO.BUT IF THE GIRL BECOMES PREGNANT THEN,WHO WOULD MARRY HER?ANY BODY WOULD MARRY HER,PROVIDED SHE IS AN INTELLIGENT GIRL.WILL YOU MARRY A DEFAMED GIRL?IT DEPENDS ON HER EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATIONS,HER PULCHRITUDE,HER FAMILY BACKGROUND,HER I.Q.,HER PERSONAL STRENGTH ETC.BECAUSE IT'S DIFFICULT TO SAY AND AFOOLISHNESS TO BELIEVE SOMETHING WHICH HAS NOTHING TO TAKE WITH THE ACTUAL LOVE.LOVE NOT BASED ON GREED BUT ON PERSONAL LIKINGNESS TOWARDS EACH OTHER.
MY FRIENDS IN KIEV DEFAMED ME AS DRUNKARD AMONG THE UKRAINIAN GIRLS OF THE HOSTEL,SO THAT NONE OF THEM LIKE ME.THIS HAPPENED.THEY ALL WERE SATISFIED WITH THEIR NURSES AS THEIR BELOVED.
ONCE,I DECIDED EARLY IN THE MORNING TO FIND MY LOVE AT ANY COST.I ASKED FOR ALIFT FROM 1,000 GIRLS,BUT MOST OF THEM WERE ENGAGED OR MARRIED.IT WAS 7PM ,I RETURNED BACK,NEAR MY HOSTEL WITH THE LOST HOPE AND ENTERED THE GENERAL STORE AND SAW AN EXTREMELY PRETTY GIRL STANDING.I ASKED HER THAT 'WOULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHERE TO BUY A FRESH FISH'?SHE REPLIED
THAT COME OUTSIDE AND SHE WOULD SHOW IT TO ME.SHE TOLD GO STRAIGHT,TURN LEFT,THEN TURN RIGHT.YOU WOULD GET IT.NOW SHE WAS TO CATCH A BUS.I SAID,ACTUALLY I AM INTERESTED IN YOU AND NOT IN FISH.SHE REPLIED THAT SHE HAD NO TIME.I TOLD HER PLEASE WALK WITH ME TILL YOUR BUS STAND TALKING WITH ME AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,THEN I WOULD RETURN BACK.WE SPOKE FOR 2 MINUTES AND SHE OFFERED ME TO COME TO HER FLAT TOGETHER.SHE WAS CARRYING A CAKE.WE BOTH WENT INSIDE THE FLAT AND THE LOVE STARTED.SHE ATE,DANCED AND SLEPT WITH ME NON-STOP FOR 10 DAYS.DO YOU KNOW WHAT HER AGE WAS?ONLY 16 YEARS.HEIGHT 5.10 INCHES.DAUGHTER OF MR. ALEXANDER EVANOWICH,NOBLE PRIZE WINNER OF ECONOMICS OF UKRAINE AND HER MOTHER WAS A DANCE CHOREOGRAPHER(BALLET).
NOW THINK ,HOW FREE IS THAT COUNTRY AND COMPARE IT WITH INDIA,USA OR UK.PRIOR TO LENA I HAD MANY GIRL FRIENDS FOR SEX,BUT I WAS IN SEARCH FOR A TRUE LOVE WHICH I GOT.
SO,PLEASE DON'T HESITATE AND BOLDLY FACE IT.DON'T LIVE IN FRUSTRATION AND PROPOSE ANY BODY YOU LIKE AND IF HE /SHE DENIES,CONTINUE YOUR SEARCH,DON'T GET DISHEARTENED.REMEMBER,IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO FIND THE BEST THING.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

TANNA MISHRA JI(TAANSEN),HAPPY NEW YEAR.

DEAR READERS,
MOST OF YOU WOULD BE KNOWING THAT 'TAANSEN',THE GREATEST SINGER OF 14TH CENTURY WAS HINDU INITIALLY AND AFTER JOINING THE GREAT EMPEROR AKBAR'S COURTYARD HE TURNED INTO MUSLIM'TAANSEN'.THOUGH SWAAMI HARIDAAS WAS A BETTER SINGER BUT HE REFUSED EMPEROR AKBAR'S PROPOSAL TO JOIN HIS COURTYARD,AKBAR OFFERED HIM TONNES OF GOLD AND DIAMOND,BUT HE REFUSED.'T' FOR TAANSEN'.
R-HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU.
T-AAPKO BHI.KAISE YAAD KIYA MUJHE SARASWATI PUTRA?
R-AAPKO NAHIN YAAD KAROONGA TO PHIR KISKO YAAD KAROONGA.
T-AHO BHAAGYA KI AAPNE MUJHE YAAD KIYAA.FARMAAIYE.
R-SAB KOOSHAL MANGAL HAYE NA?
T-KYAA KOOSHAL MANGAL RAHEGA.BHARAT MEIN JO SANGEET KI DOORDASHA HO RAHI HAYE ,WO KYAA AAPSE CHIPA HAYE.
R-TO ISME HAMAARA KYAA DOSH HAYE?
T-AAPKA NAHIN,LEKIN BAHOOTON KA TO HAYE.
R-TO ISLIYE HI AAPSE POOCH RAHAA HOON KI MAIN KYAA KAROON?
T-HATAIYE KACHDON KO,AUR STHAPIT KIJIYE KHADAJ-PANCHAM GRAAM KO,RAAG-RAAGINIYO KO.ACHCHA MAHAOL BANAIYE PRITHVI PAR.ISI MEIN HAMAARI KHOOSHI HAYE.
R-THEEK HAYE.AAPKI JO AAGYA HO.PRANAAM AUR NAV VARSHA KI DHER SAARI SAARI SHUBHKAAMNAEN HAMAARI TARAF SE.
T-AAPKO BHI.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

A SNAP FROM MY LOVE STORY WHICH SHOWS THE UKRAINIAN CULTURE.

'L' FOR LENA AND 'R' FOR RINKU.
R-KHAT-KHAT.
L-WHO'S THAT?
R-IT'S ME.
L-PLEASE WAIT DARLING ,I AM OPENING THE DOOR,MY SONA MONA PYAARA PYAARA ,DIL KA TOOKDA.
R-THANKS .
L-PLEASE GIVE YOUR LIP,I WANT TO SUCK IT.OH ...............BHARPOOR CHOOSOONGI MAIN.
R-I WOULD ALSO SUCK YOUR ENTIRE ENERGY.
L-I WOULD REMOVE YOUR HAT,OVERCOAT,HAND GLOVES,JACKET.
R-PLEASE.SHE REMOVES ALL MY UPPER DRESSES.
L-WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A CUP OF INDIAN TEA?
R-WHY NOT,PLEASE.
WE BOTH START DRINKING TEA,LOOKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE A LOST COUPLE IN HEAVEN.
L-DO YOU KNOW THAT THE WAR IS GOING ON IN YUGOSLAVIA.
R-I KNOW IT.
L-I AM THINKING TO GO TO TURKEY THIS SUMMER VACATION.WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME?
R-BUT,I AM BUSY IN YOU AND DON'T WAN'T TO LEAVE YOUR FLAT.
L-OK.LETS MOVE INSIDE THE BED ROOM,TODAY I WOULD TEACH YOU A LESSON MY SONA MONA ,RAAJ DOOLARA,DIL KA TOOKADA.
R-I PUT UP HER FROM THE GROUND AND HOLD HER IN MY BOTH ARMS AND TAKE HER TO HER BED ROOM,THOUGH SHE WAS A HEAVY AND TALL GIRL,EXTREMELY PRETTY.
L-I WOULD OPEN YOUR CLOTHES,ENTIRE.
R-PLEASE.
L-OPENED.NOW,I WOULD BE ON THE TOP AND YOU WOULD REMAIN ON THE BOTTOM.
R-OK.
R-SHE FIRST STARTS SUCKING MY TOES,LEGS,THIGHS,ARMS,CHEST,NIPPLES,MY NECK,CHEEKS,FOREHEAD,BACK BONES,ANUS,LIP TO LIP LIKE A HUNGARY LIONESS.AND THEN ORDERS ME TO PUT MY ENTIRE BOOMING PENIS INSIDE HER MOUTH,WHICH SHE SUCKS AS IF SHE DIDN'T DRINK WATER SINCE FEW MONTHS.THEN,SHE STARTS SUCKING MY HYDROCOEL.AND STARTS FUCKING ME ORDERING NOT TO EJACULATE FIRST.
L-OH ,YOU ARE AMAZING .LET ME ROTATE MY VAGINA,OH.........WONDERFUL.NQW,DIAGONALLY,LATERALLY,TRANSVERSALLY.KACH-KACH-KHACH-KHACH-KHACH-KHACH-KHACH-KHACH..................................................
NOW,I WOULD COME DOWN AND YOU COME UP.
R-OK
L-KILL ME PLEASE.
R-OK.DHOOM-DHOOM-DHOOM-DHOOM-DHOOM-DHOOM...................
L-I EJACULATED.NOW,PLEASE EJACULATE.
R-NO,I DON'T WANT TO EJACULATE.DHOOM-DHOOM-DHOOM-DHOOM.............
L-PLEASE STOP IT.ITS PAINFUL.PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE.
R-OK.DHAR-DHAR-DHAR-DHAR-DHAR-DHAR-DHAR-DHAR
L-OH,FILL MY VAGINA COMPLETELY WITH YOUR SPERMS.
R-DHAR-DHAR-DHAR-DHAR-DHAR.....................................................................FINISH.
L-LET US MOVE INSIDE THE BATHING TUB AFTER DRINKING A CHAMPAGNE.
R-WE BOTH DRINK CHAMPAGNE AND ENTER INSIDE THE BATHROOM WHERE SHE WIPES MY BODY WITH HER TOWEL.AND WE BOTH ENTER THE HOT BATHING TUB,WITH THE STEREO PLAYING RD BURMAN'S MUSIC.IT WAS 2AM MID NIGHT AND THE ENTIRE CITY(KIEV) WAS COVERED WITH SNOW.THE OUTSIDE TEMPERATURE WAS -30 DEGREE CELSIUS.THE FLAT WAS CENTRALLY AIR-CONDITIONED.INSIDE THE TUB WE BOTH HUGGED EACH OTHER AND SLEPT.
L-LET'S MOVE TO THE DINING HALL AND I WOULD PREPARE OMLETTES FOR YOU,WITH FRENCH LIQUOR.
R-PLEASE.
R-WE BOTH START PREPARING OMLETTES AND START EATING IT WITH A FRENCH LIQUOR,LOOKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE NO BODY WOULD EVER SEPERATE US.
L-I WANT YOU AGAIN INSIDE THE BEDROOM.
R-PLEASE.THIS WHOLE CYCLE LASTS CONTINUOUSLY FOR 10 DAYS,7 STROKES A DAY.
L-PROMISE ME THAT YOU WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME.
R-PROMISE.NEVER AND NEVER.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

I AM ZERO IN COMPUTER APPLICATION.

THE CHARACTERS ARE-'R' AND 'RK'.
RK-SARKAAR RAOORA KE SAB COMPUTERAWA PAR BOORBAK BANAILE BAADE SA.COMPUTERAWA SEEKH LIHIN NA.
R-KONCHI SIKHIN?
RK-C++,C++++,JAVA SCRIPT,LINUX,ORACLE,ETHICAL HACKING,HARDWARE APPLICATION,SOFTWARE APPLICATION,NETWORKING ,E SAB.
R-AURO?
RK-BAS ETNE SEEKH LIHIN ,TA KAAM CHAL JAI.
R-AA FOX++,FOX++++,DOG--,MIND X-Y,COBRA LANGUAGE,C2+G2-5,2X-GAMMA LANGUAGE,B-H VERSIONS,LION0-2X-5+2-3X ETC. E SAB KE SIKHAI?
RK-E HO SAB HO LA?
R-TA
RK-EKAR MAANE ANGINAT VAASHA BA ?
R-TA TU KAA SAMJHA TAARA KI OTNE SIKHE SE KAAM CHAL JAI.E BHAASHA BOORBAK LOG KE MOOBAARAK HO.HAMRA E VASWAN MEIN KAONO DILCHASPI NAIKHE.
RK-KAONO RAAOOR DHANDHAWA CHAAOPAT KAR DIHI TA?
R-KARE DA CHAOPAT,CHAOPATE NA KARI,KARE DA.
RK-THEEK BAA.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

A STORY IN LONDON

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.THIS IS A STORY IN LONDON.THE CHARACTERS ARE 'R','RK','PM' FOR POLICE MAN,'J' FOR JUDGE AND 'F' FOR FANS.
'R'-MR. RAM KHELAWAN ,THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL CITY,ISN'T IT.
RK-JI SARKAAR,EKDAM SAFAI -SOOTHRA BAA.DENHIYAA KAPADO NAYA LAAGA TAA.
F-ARE YOU MR. RINKU ADARSH?
R-YES.
F-PLEASE GIVE US YOUR AUTOGRAPH PLEASE,PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE IN YOUR MUSIC COMPANY,WE ARE JOURNALISTS WE WANT YOUR INTERVIEW.
R-I WANT TO MEET MY FRIEND,PRINCESS DIANA.
F-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPH.
R-WHAT HAPPENED?
F-DON'T YOU READ NEWS PAPERS?
R-NO,I DON'T.
F-SHE COMMITED A SUICIDE,NO-NO SHE WAS KILLED WHEN SHE WAS DRIVING FAST,NO-NO SHE WAS CAUGHT IN A LOVE TRIANGLE,NO-NO SHE WAS CONSPIRED,NO-NO SHE WAS DRUNK,HOOH -SHE WAS LOVING AND LOST HER BALANCE.
R-STOP IT.WHAT KIND OF INFORMATIONS ARE YOU GIVING ME.I DON'T UNDERSTAND,YOU ALL PEOPLE ARE SAYING DIFFERENT THINGS.PLEASE DON'T CONFUSE ME AND TAKE ME TO HER.
F-SHE IS NO MORE.
PM-HANDS UP.HOW DID YOU DARE TO FINISH AN AMERICAN,I WILL FINISH YOU.
R-PLEASE DO IT.THAKTHAKTHAKTHAKTHAKTHAKTHAK.FINISH.NOW GO TO THE LOST WORLD.
RK-SARKAAR,E TA GAIL KAAM SE,AB EKRA KAHAAN PAHOONCHAIN?
R-CHOD DA HEIJE,KAONO OOTHA KE LE JAI.SUDDENLY A POLICE VAN COMES AND ARRESTS ME AND RK.
J-MR. ADARSH WHY DID YOU KILL THIS POLICE MAN?
R-HE WANTED TO KILL ME AND IN MY DEFENSE I KILLED HIM.
J-BUT ,BEING SUCH A BIG PERSONALITY,YOU COULD HAVE KEPT COOL.
R-HAD I BEEN COOL,HE WOULD HAVE COOLED ME FOREVER.
J-OK,SORRY,YOU ARE MOST WELCOME IN THIS CITY.WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRINK CHAMPAGNE?
R-NO,THANKS.
RK-HAMRA PIYE DINHI ,HAMRA NIMAN LAAGA LA.
R-E HI LA SAATHE AAIL BAADA.
PM-SORRY SIR,PRINCESS IS NO MORE.
R-THEN ,PLEASE TAKE ME TO HER GRAVE.
PM-PLEASE SIR.
R-IS SHE SLEEPING?
PM-YES SIR,ON A LONG SLEEP.
R-LEAVE ME ALONE HERE FOR SOMETIME.I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO HER.
PM-BUT SHE IS DEAD.
R-YOU THINK THAT SHE IS DEAD BUT I KNOW VERY WELL THAT SHE IS ALIVE.PLEASE LET ME TALK TO HER.MR. RAMKHELAWAN PLEASE GO AWAY.
R-I CAME.WOULD YOU LIKE TO SPEAK TO ME?
PD-I NEVER KNEW THAT YOU WOULD COME.I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.I LOVED YOUR GIFT.PLEASE PLAY A FANTASTIC MUSIC FOR ME.I LOVE YOUR MUSIC VERY MUCH.
R-OK,PLEASE HEAR THIS SONG AND MUSIC. ' PA-PA,MA -GA,MA-GA,RE-SA ,NI -SA,GAMA-GAMA RESA,PA-MA,NI-NI,DHA-PA-MA,PA -DHA-DHA-PA-MA,MAGA-MAGA,RESA.PAAAA-PAA-PA-PA,NI-NI,MAGA-MAGA RESA ,NISA,DHA-DHA,DHA-DHA,MAGA-SASA,NI-RE,NI-SA,MA-PA,MAA-MAGA-RESA.................................
PD-STOP IT.
R-WHY?
PD-I AM HYPNOTISED.MIRACULOUS.WHY DIDN'T YOU COME BEFORE ?
R-I NEVER GOT AN OPPORTUNITY TO COME.I WAS BUSY IN MY DIVERSE EDUCATIONAL EXPERIENCES.
PD-NOW,YOU WILL HAVE TO REMAIN NEAR ME AND PLAY MUSIC FOR ME ALWAYS.
R-HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE,I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE,AS YOU TOLD ME TO SAVE THIS PLANET.
PD-BUT,I WANT YOU TO REMAIN HERE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
R-OK,I WOULD,BUT ONLY FOR YOU.
PD-HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS SUPERNATURAL WAY TO SPEAK TO SOMEBODY SLEEPING?
R-WE ARE AN EXTREMELY SENSITIVE PEOPLE AND EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE EACH AND EVERY RADIATIONS AND WAVES COMING FROM THE DIFFERENT GALAXIES OF THIS UNIVERSE,THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND OTHER MUSICIANS.I AM GOD-GIFTED.
PD-UNDERSTOOD.PLEASE STAY IN MY PALACE AND RELAX.
R-AS YOU WISH.
PD-PLEASE COME NEARER.
R-YES.WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
PD-JUST A SIMPLE KISS FROM ME.
R-THANKS FOR THIS HONOUR.LET ME REVERT THIS BACK.....................
PD-THANKS.IT SMELLS LIKE A FRESH ROSE,AMAZING.
R-THANKS.NOW.......?
PD-I DON'T WANT TO SAY YOU TO GO ,BUT YOU SHOULD RELAX AND COME AGAIN IN THE EVENING.
R-I WOULD COME.BYE.
PD-BYE.
RK-SARKAAR,OONHAA KOCHI FOOSOOR -FOOSOOR BATIAWAT RAHIN AURO GAAWAT -BAZAAWAT RAHIN.PAGLAEL BAANI KA?
R-AGAR E TU SAMAJH JAITA TA TOOHE NA RINKU ADARSH BAN JAITA.
RK-E TA BAATAWA SAHIYE BA.
R-AB CHALA ,MAHAL MEIN SOOTE AURO AESH MAOJ KARE.
RK-CHALIN,HUM TA AAJ KHOOB DAAROO PIYAAB AURO KHOOB BADHIYA-BADHIYA KHAANA KHAAIB.
R-AA HUM TA ROOS WAALA VODKE PIYAB.
RK-THEEK BAA.
RK-MAHALAWA TA EKDAM CHAMKATA,AA KETNA KHAATIR HO TAA.
R-TA TU KAA SOCHLA KI TU KAONO EGGI-DUGGI KE SAATHE INHAA AAIL BAADA.VOGA.
RK-TAK DHINA DHIN TAK DHINA DHIN.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

MY FIRST GIFT TO PRINCESS DIANA.

THIS IS A STORY INSIDE THE TAJ MAHAL.'A' FOR AMERICAN AND 'R' FOR ME.
'R' ,'RA' AND 'RK' ARE THE CHARACTERS.
RK MEANS RAMKHELAWAN SINGH.
'R'-THIS TAJ MAHAL IS A WONDERFUL PLACE.ISN'T IT MR. RAMKHELAWAN?
'RK'-JI SARKAAR,ITA EK DAM CHAMKATA AISAN KI LAAGA TA KI KAALHE BANAL BA.PYAAR KE ADVOOT NAMOONA BA,POORA VISHWA KE.
'A'-ARE YOU MR. RINKU ADARSH?
R-YES.
'A'-HANDS UP OR I WILL SHOOT YOU.YOU BASTARD,HOW DO YOU DARE TO SPEAK AGAINST THIS FIRST WORLD.I WILL KILL YOU JUST NOW.
R-PLEASE FIRE.KHATKHATKHATKHATKHATKHATKHAT.
'A'-YOU BRUISED ME.YES,THIS IS MY FIRST GIFT TO YOUR 1ST WORLD.OH GOD ,HELP ME.FINISH.
RK-E KAA KAINI,MAARDENI EKRAKE?
R-HAAN.AB EKAR LAASH KE BAKSA MEIN BAND KARKE ,AMERIKA BHEJDA.
RA-JO HUKUM SARKAAR.
R-A SOONA EKRA MEIN CHITTHI DAAL DA KI,EKRA KE PRINCESS DIANA KE BAGAL MEIN DAFNA DIHA.PAHILA TOHFA BA.ANGINAT TOHFA JAI.
RK-THEEK BAA SARKAAR.SARKAAR E TA BIJLI NIYAN RAOORA EKRA KE DOOIE MINATWA MEIN HAANTHWE SE KHATAM KAR DENI.
R-E MAADAR CHOD KHATIR ETNE KAAFI BA,HANKIYE TIBIYA PAR KI PARMAANU BAM BA AURO BADKA-BADKA JAHAAJ BA,HAWAA BAAZ DOGLA.
CHALA AB,HO GAIL 'OM SRI GANESHAYE NAMAH' YUDH KE.
RK-SARKAR HAMTA SOCHNI KI AAPAN 56 WA NIKAAL DIHIN.
R-EHNI KE MAALOOM NAIKHE KI HINDUSTAAN MEIN AATANKWAADI BHARAL BAADE SA.TAIYO SASOOR KE NAATI CHAL AAWATA SAB TAJ MAHAL DEKHE.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

INVITATION FOR THE FIGHT,FROM ANY BODY OF THE UNIVERSE.

DEAR READERS,
HELLO.THIS IS AN OPEN INVITATION FOR THE FIGHT WITH ME FROM ANY BODY OF THIS UNIVERSE.THIS WOULD BE AN INDIVIDUAL FIGHT.NO GROUP FIGHTING,INDIVIDUAL FIGHTING.THIS FIGHT COULD BE PHYSICAL,MENTLE,EMOTIONAL,POLITICAL,MUSICAL OR ANY THING.NO WEAPON SHOULD BE USED IN THIS FIGHT.NO ,CONSPIRACY FROM THE BACK SIDE IS ALLOWED.IF ,I WIN THIS FIGHT ,US AND UK WILL HAVE TO TRANSFER ALL THEIR PROPERTIES TO MY BANK ACCOUNT.IF I LOOSE IT,THEN IT'S OBVIOUS THAT I WOULD DEPART.AFTER THIS FIGHT ,I SHOULD BE DECLARED THE EMPEROR OF THIS EARTH.ANY TRICK IF PLAYED,WOULD BE CONSIDERED YOUR DEFEAT.
HOW TO APPLY-
JUST INKLE ME THROUGH AN INVISIBLE RADIATION OR WAVES,AND I WOULD BE GLAD THAT ,THAT THERE IS ATLEAST SOMEBODY IN THIS UNIVERSE TO RESPOND.
BEST OF LUCK,
EMPEROR RINKU ADARSH

'HEY SRISHTI KE RACHAITA,BRAMHA JI,PRANAAM.

HEY SRISHTI KE RACHAITA,BRAMHAA JI,
SAADAR PRANAAM.
B-KAHO,SARASWATI PUTRA,KYON YAAD KIYAA HAMEN.
R-BHAGWAN,PRITHWI PAR PAAP KA BOJH,BADHATAA CHALA JAA RAHAA HAYE.HAMARE DESH PAR VIDESHI HAMLE PICHLE 1,000 VARSHON SE LAGAATAAR HO RAHE HAIN.TRAAHI-TRAAHI MACHAA HOOA HAYE CHARO TARAF.ISKA KYAA RAHASYA HAYE MUJHE BATAIYE.
B-DEKHO,JAB SAMUDRA MANTHAN HOOA THAA,OOS SAMAYE ASOOR LOG EK TARAF THEIN ,AUR DEVTAA LOG DOOSRI TARAF.WAHI ASOOR LOG TUMHARE YAHAAN PRAHAAR KAR RAHE HAIN.WO AMERIKA AUR ENGLAND JAISE JAGAHON PE JAAKAR BAS GAYE.
R-AUR DEVTAA LOG?
B-DEVTAA LOG ,TUMHAARE SANGEET KE 'GANDHAAR GRAAM' KO LEKAR SWARGA LOK CHALE GAYE.KOOCH ABHI BHI CHIPE HAIN,ISLIYE BHARAT SOORAKCHIT HAYE,ITNE AAKRAMANO KE BAAD.
R-KYAA KAROON ,JISSE OONKA VINAASH HO JAAYE?
B-TUM AKELE KAAFI HO,OONKE VINAASH KE LIYE.TUMHEN ISILIYE BHEJA HAYE PRITHWI PAR.
R-LEKIN,MAIN AKELE OONSE KAISE YOODH KAROONGA?
B-TUM ,DIKHNE MEIN AKELE LAGTE HO,LEKIN TUMHAARE PICHE SAMPURNA BRAHMAAND KI SHAKTIYAAN KAAM KAR RAHI HAIN.
R-KYAA MAIN THEEK KAR RAHAA HOON?
B-BILKOOL THEEK KAR RAHE HO.
R-TO AASHIRVAAD DIJIYE KI MAIN ASOORON KA ASAANI SE SANHAAR KAR SAKOON.
B-TATHAASTU.
R-PRANAAM BHAGWAN.
'OM SURYA DEVAYE NAMAHA'.
RINKU ADARSH

KISAAN LOG-SOONA AGO BATIA.

JAI HO KISAAN BHAI LOG,
PRANAAM.
R-E RAM KHELAWAN SINGH KAA KARATAARE ?
K-DOORDARSHAN DEKHA TAARE,HANTHWA MEIN RIMOTAWA LEKE .
R-KAA KHOJA TAARA HO RAM KHELAWAN SINGH?
K-SARKAAR,TIBIA PAR BADHIYAA GAANA SOONE KE MAN BA.MILTE NAIKHE.
R- TANI LAGAWA TA HUMHU DEKHAB.
K-DEKHIN CHANEL 1.--------------'SRINAGAR MEIN ZABARDAST AATANKAWAADI HAMLA,5 JAWAAN SHAHID,15 NAAGRIK GHAAYAL'.
R-CHALA CHANEL BADLA.CHANEL NO.2-------------'ADDA FADDA HO GAYA ,KHOPADI WOPADI KHALASH HO GAYA'.
K-AB?
R-CHANEL NO.3 LAGAWA-----------'US ARMY IS SENDING MORE TROOPS TO AFGHANISTAAN'.
K-AB?
R-AB-AB KOCHI KARA TAARA,BADLA DHER CHANEL BA.
K-CHANEL NO.4----------'NEW DELHI MEIN PREMI-PREMIKA KO ZINDAA JALAAYA'
K-CHANEL NO.5--------------'NUCLEAR TREATY SUCCESSFULLY SIGNED.INDIA CAN'T MAKE NUCLEAR WEAPONS'-US.
K-CHANEL NO.6----------'DARLING FUCK ME HARDER TODAY,I AM VERY THIRSTY'.
K-CHANEL NO.7------------'SIZZLING RESTAURANT IN NEW YORK ,PREPARES FOOD LIKE'PAMPPE MUSSA',DAKARTE SIZZLERS',LA DE TROPHIA' DRINKS.
K-CHANEL NO.8-'BOLLYWOOD MEIN SAMLAENGIK VIVAHON KI HOD'.
R- ARE! ROKA-ROKA.SOONE DA.'AB BOLLYWOOD KE ABHINETA SAMLAENGIK VIVAAH PAR FILM BANA RAHE HAIN.OONKA KAHNA HAYE KI ISMEIN BOORAI KYAA HAYE.HAM DONO HERO EK DOOSRE SE PYAAR KARTE HAIN ,TO ISMEIN BOORAI KYAA HAYE'.
K-CHANEL NO.9-------------------
R-CHODA,BAND KAR DA.
K-SARKAAR,E SAMLAENGIK VIVAAH KA HOLA?
R-ARE BOORBAK,OHNI KE LADKI NAIKHE MILAT,YEHI SE GAAND MAAD KE EK DOOSAR KE SANTOS KARA TAARE SA.
K-KAAHE?
R-PAISA KHAATIR,SANSKRITI BARBAAD KARE LA PAISA MILAL BA ,OHNI KE.EHI SE GAANDOO BAN GAILE SA.
K-AAAAAURO ASAL ZINDAGI MEIN?
R-ASAL ZINDAGI MEIN DHER MASOOM LADKI MIL JAALA OHNI KE CHODE KHAATIR PAISA KE BALPAR.
K-MANE HAMNI KE SAMLAENGIK BANAWE KE KOSHISH HOTA,APNE SAB KHOOB RANDDIBAAZI KARATARE SA.
R-HAAN.MAMOOLI BALWAAN BAADE SA,HAWA MEIN OOD-OOD KE 500-500 AADMI KE MAARALE SA.SAB BRUCE LEE KE CHELA BAADE SA.MOTOR CYCLE HAWA MEIN OODA KE HAWAI JAHAAJ KE TAKKAR MAAR DELE SA.
K-YE SARKAR KAHIN TA HAMRO LAAND BADI KAKOOLA TA.HUMHOON KHETAWA BECH KE E HEROIYA SABKE PAISA DEKE GAAND MARAB.GAAND BAHOOT MOLAYAM HOI SAKE.
R-TU NAAL WAADAK BAADA NA,EHE SAB KARBA.YUDH KE TAIYAARI CHALATA,DEEMAAG KHARAAB HO GAIL BA KAA?
K-TAA BADHIYAA GAANA KAISE SOONI BATAAIN?
R-TU PATNA CHAL AAWA AURO APAN MAN PASAND GAANA KE CD,BAAKAR GANJ KE BAZAAR SE KHARID KE,APAN CD PALEARAWA PA SOONA.ORIGINAL MANGIHAA.KEKAR GAANA SOONBA BOLA?
K-LATA MANGESHKAR JI KE,KISHORE KUMAR JI KE.
R-AAWA ENHAAN MIL JAI CD.SOONA BHAR PET.TV MAT DEKHA.
K-THEEK BA.AAWA TAANI PATNA,NAALO KHARIDE KE BA.
R-AWAA.ACHCHA CHALA TAANI.TIBA -TIBI CHODA DEKHE.
PRANAAM.
RINKU ADARSH

IMPORTANT NOTICE FOR THE INDIAN CITIZENS

DEAR INDIAN CITIZENS,
HELLO.I WISH ALL OF YOU A VERY VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.THERE IS A SERIOUS NOTICE FOR ALL OF YOU.
THE HISTORY SHOWS THAT BEFORE THE DOWNFALL OF ANY DYNASTY OR ANY EXISTING SYSTEM OF GOVERNENCE,THE ART AND CULTURE OF THAT COUNTRY IS DESTROYED FIRST.THE PRESENT DOWNFALL OF OUR ART AND CULTURE IS THE PROOF THAT THIS SYSTEM IS GOING TO COLLAPSE.THE COUNTRY IS GOING TO SINK.THE FOREIGN INVADERS HAVE CONQUERED OUR COUNTRY.NOW,THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY LEFT FOR EACH AND EVERY BODY TO SURVIVE.PERSONAL STRENGTH.THOSE WHO WOULD DARE TO FIGHT WOULD SURVIVE,THE REST WOULD BE KILLED.THERE IS NO WAY TO ESCAPE.FIGHT OR GET DESTROYED.FOR SURVIVING WE NEED UNITY ,LEAVING BEHIND THE CASTE,RELIGION AND OTHER CONSERVATIVE TRADITIONS.AND THE DEATH WON'T BE EASIER,FOR THE COWARDS,IT WOULD BE LIKE SUCKING ONE BOTTLE OF BLOOD EVERY DAY FROM YOUR BODY,BY CUTTING ANY VEIN OR ARTERY OF YOUR BODY WITH THE KNIFE.
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THIS HARSH REALITY.SO,CHOOSE EITHER OF THEM.THIS TIME THE EAST INDIA COMPANY HAS NOT BEEN ESTABLISHED BUT THE INVADERS HAVE BEEN INVITED BY THE SYSTEM ITSELF.SO,THE 'SOUTH ASIAN COMPANY ' HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED.THIS MEAN THAT INDIA,PAKISTAAN,NEPAL,AFGHANISTAAN,SRI LANKA,BURMA,BLUCHISTAAN ETC. HAD BEEN ENSLAVED.THIS TIME NON-VIOLENCE IS NOT GOING TO HELP.SO,GET READY TO FACE THE DUSK OF INDIA.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

PRINCESS DIANA-WISH YOU A COMFORTABLE HAPPY NEW YEAR.

HER MAJESTY,
HELLO.HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO YOU.SORRY,FOR DELAY IN COMMUNICATING.NOWADAYS I AM INVOLVED IN A STRENUOUS SCHEDULE,MADE A MUSIC COMPANY,DOING STRENUOUS EXERCISES OF MUSIC,SUPPORTING MY FRIEND MICHAEL JACKSON AND ALSO SUPPORTING MY COUNTRY,MY NEIGHBOURING COUNTRIES AND THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.ARE YOU HAPPY?I KNOW THAT YOU ARE VERY HAPPY HEARING ALL THESE THINGS.I WILL DO EVERYTHING TO MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE.PEOPLE MIGHT BE WONDERING THAT ON ONE SIDE I SPEAK AGAINST YOUR COUNTRY AND ON THE OTHER HAND HAVE MADE ETERNAL FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU.IT SOUNDS SILLY.BUT,I KNOW THAT IN EACH AND EVERY COUNTRY THERE ARE GOOD MANY PEOPLE AND WORSE APPROXIMATELY NULL.SO,I AM AGAINST THOSE FEW.AND HOW ARE YOU PRINCESS?
PD-QUITE FINE.IF I HAVE GOT SUCH A NICE AND GENTLE FRIEND LIKE YOU,THEN WHAT ELSE I NEED.
R-BUT ,YOU ARE VERY VERY FA...............................................................FROM ME.
PD-DOESN'T MATTER,ATLEAST THARE IS SOMEBODY IN THIS WORLD WHO CARES FOR ME,OTHERWISE PEOPLE HAVE FORGOTTEN ME.
R-THE WORLD IS GRADUALLY DESCENDING MORALLY.SELFISHNESS,CORRUPTION,SINS,GREED FOR MONEYETC. HAS SPOILED THE ENTIRE GLOBE.INDIA IS MOST AFFECTED WITH THIS CORRUPTION SYNDROME.
PD-TRY TO MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE FOR PEOPLE TO LIVE.
R-I AM TRYING MY BEST.
PD-WOULD YOU ANSWER TO MY ONE QUESTION.
R-YES.
PD-WHY DID YOU CHOOSE ME FOR FRIENDSHIP AS YOU KNOW THAT I AM VERY VERY FAR FROM YOU.
R-BECAUSE I LOVED YOU RIGHT SINCE MY CHILDHOOD AND WANTED TO MEET YOU,BUT UNFORTUNATELY CRUEL......................................................,I WAS HELPLESS.READ YOUR LAST FEW UTTERED WORDS AND TEARS STARTED FALLING FROM MY EYES LIKE A HEAVY SHOWER.THIS WAS A CONSPIRACY.SINCE I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN CONSPIRED SINCE MY CHILHOOD,SO SYMPATHY TOWARDS YOU AUTOMATICALLY DEVELOPED AND THUS FRIENDS.
PD-OK,UNDERSTOOD.SO,WHAT ELSE?
R-I WILL SPEAK TO YOU ON THE COMING VALENTINE'S DAY.
PD-OK,I WOULD WAIT.PLEASE DON'T FORGET.
R-PROMISE,NEVER AND NEVER.
PD-BYE-BYE
R-BYE-BYE.PLEASE BE COMFORTABLE.
YOUR CLOSEST FRIEND,
RINKU ADARSH

PANCHAM DAA-AAPKO NAYE SAAL KI DHER SAARI SHUBHKAAMNAYEN.

PANCHAM DADA JI,
PRANAAM.AAP KO NAYE VARSH KI DHER SAARI SHUBHKAAMNAYEN.MAIN AAPKE SANGEET SE BAHOOT PRABHAAWIT HOON.MAIN SOCHTA HOON AISI SAMAJH SHAYAAD AB KISI SANGEET NIRDESHAK KE PAAS AAYE.TABLA,GUITAR AUR SAXOPHONE KA MISHRAN,KYAA KHOOB,KAABILE-TAARIF,ATI SOONDAR HAYE.AAJKAL TO SYNTHESIZER HI SANGEET NIRDESHAK BAN GAYA .HANSI AA RAHI HOGI AAPKO,LEKIN YAH SATYA HAYE.LOGON KO DHWANI VIGYAAN KI ZAANKAARI NAHIN HAYE(ACCOUSTICS).AB BATAIYE KI TABLA EK DIVYA VAADYA YANTRA HAYE,OOSPAR JO CHAMADA MADHA ZAATA HAYE WO KISI MARE HOOE JAANWAR KI KURBAANI KE BAAD.SHAHID HO ZAATA HAYE BECHARA,APNI CHAMADI DAAN KAR DETA HAYE,TABLA MADHANE KE LIYE.AB AWAAZ KI ZO KHAASIYAT HAYE OOSE ANGAREZI MEIN 'TIMBRE' KAHTA HAIN.AB BATAIYE KI DHAATU SE WO TIMBRE NIKLEGA.OOSI SE GUITAR,SAXOPHONE,BANSOORI BAZAATE HAIN.BOLIYE AATMA MEIN JAGAH BANAA PAAYEGAA SOONANE WAALON KE.KABHI NAHIN .ISLIYE SANGEET KA,FILMON KA BHAO LOGON KE BEECH SE KARIB-KARIB KHATMA HO CHOOKA HAYE.AAPKO SOONKAR DOOKH HO RAHA HOGA.LEKIN YAH EK KATU SATYA.KHAER MAIN KOSHISH MEIN LAGA HOON BACHAANE KI,AUR SHAAYAD BACHAA BHI LOON DOOBTE HOOYE 'TITANIC' KO.AAP BILKOOL CHINTIT NA HON.AAP AMAR HAYEN DADA(LATE R.D. BURMAN).
AAPKA SHISHYA,
RINKU ADARSH

KISHORE DAA-NAYE SAAL KI DHER SAARI SHUBHKAAMNAYEN.

KISHORE DAA,
AAPKO NAYE SAAL KI DHER SAARI SHUBHKAAMNAAYEN.AAP KI AAWAAZ AMAR HAYE DADA.MAIN TO AAPHI KO SOONKAR BADA HOOA HOON.MARNE NAHIN DOONGA AAPKI AWAAZ KO JEETE JI.YE MAIN SARASWATI MAATA KI SAOGANDH KHAKAR,KASAM KHATA HOON.BAHAOT SAARE LOGON NE KOSHISH KI HAYE AAPKE AWAAZ KE KARIB PAHOONCHNE ,LEKIN KOI NAHIN PAHOONCH SAKA.MAIN PAHOONCH GAYA AUR SHAAYAD AAGE BHI KOOCH BADH GAYA.DUNIYAA SOONEGI TAB PATA CHALEGA.HAAN KISHORE DAA ,MAINE MUSIC COMPANY AAPKE AAWAAZ KO ZINDA RAKHNE KE LIYE KHOL DIYAA HOON.AB DEKHTE JAIYE MERA JAADOO.AUR SANGEET AISA DOONGA KI AAJ TAK KISINE IS SANSAAR MEIN KALPANA BHI NAHIN KIYAA HOGA.AGAR MAYE AISA NAHIN KAR SAKA TO AAPNE SAR MEIN APNE PISTAOL SE GOLI MAAR DOONGA AUR PAHOONCH JAAONGA AAPKE PAAS CHAMAA MAANGANE.YE WAADA RAHA.AAP AMAR HAIN SARASWATI PUTRA,AMAR HAIN.KAON KAHETA HAYE KI AAP NAHI..........................................................AAP HAYEN KARODON LOGON KE DIL MEIN.AAPNE HI TO RAJESH KHANNA UNCLE KO,AMIT UNCLE KO AUR NA ZAANE KITNE ADAAKARON KO OONKE MANZIL PAHOONCHAYA HAYE.AUR KYAA KAHOON,BAATEN HOTE RAHENGI AAPSE.
AAPKA POTA,
RINKU ADARSH

LATAMANGESHKAR DAADI JI---AAP SARASWATI MAATA HAIN

DEAR DAADI JI,
PRANAAM.AAPKO NAYE VARSH KI DHER SAARI SHUBHKAAMNAAYEN.AAPKE BINAA AB IS DUNIYAA MEIN BACHA HIN KYAA HAYE.DOORGANDH AATI HAYE AAJ KI GAIKAON KE AWAAZ SOON KAR,AAJ KE SANGEETKAARON KE SANGEET SE.LAGTA HAYE KI TV SET PHOD DOON.KYAA HOGAYA HAYE KOOCH SAMAJH MEIN NAHIN AA RAHAA HAYE.AB DEKHIYE ,EK OODAHARAN-
'PYAAR WYAAR,PYAAR WYAAR,PUSH ME HANDSOME ,PUSH ME
TIKDI PATTA MAKKA TODI ,BORI RE BORI,BORI RE BORI,
DAIYAAAAA,PUSH,PUSH,PUSH NA,BALLE BALLE HO JAYEGA
PAISA KAMAO,AISH KARO,PYAAR WYAAR KO KHALAAS KARO.
AB BATAIYE ISKO KAON SOONANA PASAND KAREGA?AUR SANGEET,GHICHID PICHID
MICHID PHICHID,NA SOOR LAGAANE AATAA HAYE NA TAALON KI JAANKAARIYAAN HAYE,LAYEKAARI KI BAAT TO DOOR HAYE.KAON SA RAAG KIS SAMAYE KE LIYE OOPYOOKTA HAYE,VAADI-SAMWAADI KAON-KAON SE SWAR HAIN,ALANKARON KI RACHNA KAISE KI JAATI HAYE,KOOCH NAHIN MAALOOM HAYE.KAON INHEN MAOKA DETAA HAYE?KAL ZEE CLASSIC PAR MAINE EK FILM DEKHI.AAPKI AWAAZ SOONTE AUR SOONDAR SANGEET NIRDESHAN NE NA SIRF MERE,BALKI MERE SAATH ZITNE BHI LOG BAITHE THE SAB RO PADE.MAIN TO RAAT BHAR BECHAEN RAHA.YE AANSU KHOOSHI KE THEY AUR DOOKH KE BHI.KHOOSHI SOONKAR HOOI AUR DOOKH IS BAAT KA KI AB AISA GAANA SOONANE KO NAHIN MILEGA,KAARAN AAPNE GAANA CHOD DIYA.OOMRA KE SAAMNE INSAAN LAACHAAR HO JAATA HAYE.AB AAP TO SAMAJH HIN GAIN HONGI KI WO KAON SA GAANA HAYE.TAAR SAPTAK KE 'RE' SE SHURU HOTA HAYE,TAAR 'SAA',KOMAL 'NI',SHUDH 'DHA','PA' 'MA',KOMAL 'G' SHUDH 'RE' AUR SHUDH 'SA',MADHYA SAPTAK KAA.'TERE LIYE PALKON KI JHAALAR BINOO,GAJRE MEIN OOSKO BAANDHE PHIROON,DHOOP LAGE CHAON LAGE SAAYA BANOO,AAJA SAAJNA'.KOOCH GEET KE LAFZON MEIN TROOTI HO SAKTI HAYE,LEKIN GAANA YAHI THAA.AB DAADI JI KISKA HIMMAT HAYE KI AISA POORE DUNIYAA MEIN KOI GAA DE.AUR SANGEET,WAAH-WAAH,WAAH-WAAH.OOSPAR SE TINA DIDI KI MAASOOMIYAT,OONKI KURBAANI.AUR OOS PAR SE KISHORE DAA,BAAP RE BAAP AISA LAG RAHAA THAA KI JEETE JI SWARGA LOK PAHOONCH GAYAA,INDRA BHAGWAAN KE DARBAAR MEIN.MAIN SAMAJHATA HOON KI AANE WAALE 1,000 VARSHON TAK YAH CINEMA ,AUR KHAAS KAR KE YAH GEET SOONANE WAALE ,SOONKAR MANTRA MOOGDHA HO JAYENGE.DAADI JI AAP JIYEN HAZAARON SAAL AUR SAAL KE DIN HO 50,000.
AAPKA SHISHYA,
RINKU ADARSH

SHARMILA TAGORE AUNTY-'FARAAR'

DEAR SHARMILA TAGORE AUNTY,
HELLO.HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO YOU,SAIF BHAIYAA ,SOHA DIDI AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY MEMBERS.KAL HAMNE AAPKI FILM 'FARAAR' KO DEKHA.BAHAOT ACHCHA LAGA.AUNTY ,AGAR MAIN AMIT UNCLE KE JAGAH RAHTA TO KABHI BHI BEECH RAASTE MEIN AAPKA SAATH NAHIN CHODTA.BAHAOT DOOKH HOTA HAYE DO PYAAR KARNE WAALE BICHADTE HAIN TAB.KYON KI MAIN NE LENA KO NAHIN CHODA,OOSNE INDIA AANE SE INKAAR KAR DIYA.OOSNE KAHAA KI INDIA BAHAOT PRADOOSHIT JAGAH HAYE AUR WAHAAN OOSKA DAM GHOONT JAAYEGA.OOSNE SIRFA JHOPADPATTIYAAN HI DEKHI THI INDIA KI,RUSSIAN TELEVISION PAR.THANKS TO FEDERATION OF SOUTH ASIAN TELEVISION JOURNALIST ASSOCIATION.AAJ BHI BAHAOT YAAD AATI HAYE OONKI.OONSE BICHADE 15 SAAL GOOJAR GAYE.SHAYAAD OONKI SHAADI,BACHCHE BHI HO GAYE HON.'MAIN PYAASA TUM SAAWAN' GEET KISHORE DAA AUR LATA JI KI AWAAZON MEIN BAHAOT KARNA PRIYAE HAYE.KYAA AAP MERE SAATH YE GAANA GAYENGI,GAR KABHI HAMAARI AAPSE MOOLAAKAAT HO JAAYE?INTEZAAR KAROONGA OOS DIN KA.
AAPKA APNA,
RINKU ADARSH

KISAAN BHAI LOG-BHARAT MAATA KI JAYE HO.

'K' SE KISAAN AURO 'R' SE HAMAAR NAAM LIKHAI.
R-NAYA SAAL MUBAARAK HO.
K-RAAORO MOOBAARAK HO SARKAAR.
R-BOLA KAA HAAL SAMAACHAAR BA?
K-YUDH KE TAEYAARI KHOOB CHALATA,DHAKADHAK GOLI SE NISANA LAGAWA TAANI JAA.RAKETWO DAAGE SIKH GAINI HA,KHOOB KOOSTI,LAATHI,TALWAAR,BHAALA ,TOP,BANDOOK,SAB DHAKADHAK CHALA TA.
R-KAONO KAMI BA ?
K-E PARMAANU BAMWA BANAYE SIKHA DIHIN?
R-EKRA KHAATIR ROOS SE HAMAAR DOSTAWA AAWA TA.OO SAB SIKHA DIHI.
K- BAAKI AMERIKAWA TA AADES DEDELE BA KI PARMAANU BAM BANAILA TA ,BHEEKH MANGAWA DEB TOHNI KE?
R-LAAND PAR JAYE AMERIKA KE AADES.E DESWA MEIN AB KHAALI PARMANU BISFOT HOI AA DEKHA TAANI SASOOR KE NAATI HAMNI KE BHEEKH MANGAWA TAARE,KI APNE BHEEKH MAANGA TAARE.
K-SARKAAR,RAAORO TA KOOCH GYAAN HOI,KAISE BANAWAL JAALA.
R-DEKHA ,EKRA KHAATIR URANIUM AURO THORIUM NAAM KE PADAARTHA KE ZAROORAT PADA LA,JE JHARKHAND MEIN BA.BHAARI PAANI KE ZAROORAT PADA LA.
E SAB KE MILAKE ,KHOOB GARAM TAAPMAAN PAR MILAWAL JAALA.JETNA MASALA BHAR BA OTNA SHAKTISHAALI BAMWA BANI.AA OO BAMWA KE RAKETWA PAR LAAD KE NISHAANA LAAGA KE CHOD DIYAL JAI.JAHAAN RAKETWA GIRI ,OONHA SAHAR KE SAHARAWA SAAF HO JAI.AMERIKAWA YAAD BAANA KAISE JAPAN KE HIROSHIMA AURO NAGASAKI SAHARWA PAR PARMAANU BAMWA GIRAILE RAHE.
K-HAAN SARKAR,SURUI SE SAAR DOOSHT BAADE SA.
R-SANSAAR MEIN ZAB-ZAB RAVANA PAEDA LELE,TA OONKA SANGHAARAKO SAATHE-SAATHE BHEJDELE.AA GAIL BA TIME OHNI KE BINAAS KE.
K-BOLA BHARAT MAATA KI,JAI,JAI,JAI,JAI,JAI.
R-ACHCHA PRANAAM BHAI LOG.
K-PRANAAM SARKAAR.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

'LAAL BAADSHAAH KI JAI HO'

'LB' SE LAAL BAADSHAAH,'R' SE HAMAAR NAAM AURO 'M' SE MANISHA KOIRALA DIDI LIKHAI.
R-JAI HO LAAL BAADSHAH KI.
LB-ARE AAIYE RINKU BABU,KAISE AANA HOOA?
R-ARE HAM BHAARI FERA MEIN FANS GAYE HAIN.
LB-KAA HOOA?
R-ARE E ANGAREZAWAN SAB EK-EK KARKE SAB DESWAN KO GULAAM BANAILE HAYE,IRAQ,AFGHANISTAAN,PAKISTAAN AURO AB HAMNI KE DESWA KO BHI GULAAM BANAYE KE CHAKKAR MEIN HAYE.
LB-TA AAPKO KA DIKKAT HAYE,AAP MASTI SE GAIYE BAJAIYE,AA TANI HAMRO HARMUNIA SIKHA DIJIYE,KAAHE KI HAMRA AWAAZ BAHOOT MOTA HAYE SASOORA SOORE NAHIN LAGATA HAYE.TA HAM GAAWE KAISE E BATAIYE?ARE SOONTI HO ,TANI CHAYE WAYE PILAO RINKU BABU KO.
M-AAP INSURANCE KARWA LIJIYE RINKU BABU,HAMARA TO AGENCY CHAMAK JAAYEGA AUR LOG MUJHE NAOKARI SE NAHIN NIKAALENGE.
LB-ARE TOHAR AADAT NAHIN CHOOTEGA AAYEN,JEKRA DEKHTI HO OKRE INSORANCE KARWAYE LAGATI HO.JAO CHAYE LAO.
M-AADHA -AADHA KAP MALAI MAARKE.
LB-AB MOONH KA TAAK RAHI HO TUKOOR TUKOOR.
R-CHODIYE LAAL BAADSHAH ,SHAYAAD DOODH NAHIN HO.
LB-HAMKO KA E SASOORI INSORANC WAALI SAMAJH LIYE HAIN.AB KAA BATAYEN RINKU BABU,AB BABU JI MIL GAYE HAIN,SHAADI SOODA HO GAYE HAIN,TA AB E MAAR DHAAD SE DOORE RAHNA CHAHTE HAIN.E ANGAREZ LOG KE CHAKKAR MEIN KAAHE LA PADTE HAIN?
R-LAAL BAADSHAAH KYA AAP DARTE HAIN?
LB-DARTE NAHIN HAIN,E LADAI MEIN HAMRA FINO KAYE GO KE KHOON KARNA PAD JAYEGA.AB,ABHI -ABHI BABU JI SE MILE HAIN,TA THODA TIME TA GOOZAAR LEN INKA SAATH.
M-YE LIJIYE CHAYE RINKU BABU,4 AADHA-AADHA KAP HAYE.WO KAHTE HAIN NA KI SAATH CHAAYE PEENE SE PYAAR BADHATA HAYE,INSORANCE BHI.
LB-AB KAA BATAYEN RINKU BABU E SASOORI JAB SE HAMRA PICHE PADI HAYE ,HAMRA KAPAAR KHARAAB KAILE HAYE.
R-JAANE DIJIYE ,KITNE KA INSORANC CHAHIYE?
M-10 KAROD KA.
R-E LIJIYE CHEQUE 10 KAROD KA.
M-AAP TO BHAGWAAN HAIN.
R-HAM BHIKHMANGA HAIN.
M-BADE LOG TO AISE HI BOLTE HAIN.
R-KHAER,TO LAAL BAADSHAAH JI ,SHURU HO JAYE DOSTI E ANGAREZWAN KE KHILAAF.
LB-CHALIYE AAP KAHTE HAIN TA HAM AAPSE HAANTH MILALETE HAIN.AB BATAIYE KYA KARNA HAYE?
R-AFGHANISTAAN AUR PAKISTAAN MEIN JOOT RAHE AMRIKI SENA KO ROKNA HOGA,KYON KI WO OONKE KANDHE PE BANDOOK RAKHKAR HAMARE MOOLK KE BEKASOOR LOGON KI JAAN LE RAHE HAIN,AUR ISE INTERNATIONAL TERRORISM KA NAAM DE RAHE HAIN.YAANI AATANKAWAAD TRITIYE VISHWA YUDH HAYE,SAMJHEN.
LB-ARE KANDHE PAR NA RAKH KE CHALA RAHA HAYE,TANI E DESWA MEIN TA GHOOSE DIJIYE.
R-TAB TAK BAHAOT DER HO CHOOKA HOGA LAAL BAADSHAH.
LB-TA CHALIYE AFGHANISTAN CHALTE HAIN AURO ANGAREZAWAN KO HUM KHATAM KARDETE HAIN.
R-AAP AKELE NAHIN JAAYENGE MAIN BHI AAPKE SAATH CHALOONGA.
LB-CHALIYE E HO KAAM KARIYE DIYA JAAYE.
R-CHALTA HOON ,YUDH KI TAIYAARI SHURU KAREN.
LB-RINKU BABU ABKI TA E ANGAREZWAN SAB TA GAYA KAAM SE,HAAN E HAM BOOJH GAYE.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

AKSHAYE KUMAR-'AB TUMHAARE HAWAALE VATAN SAATHIYON'

DEAR AKSHAY BHAIYA,
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS.THERE ARE 2 THINGS COMMON AMONG US THAT BOTH ARE MARTIAL ARTIST AND HOTELIER.BUT,YESTERDAY I SAW YOUR MOVIE 'AB TUMHAARE HAWALE VATAN SAATHIYON'.YOU FOUGHT AGAINST OUR NEIGHBOUR,YOU GAVE FANTASTIC SHAAYAARIS AND DEFEATED THAT GIRL.KYAA AAP HAKIKAT KO CHIPANA CHAHTE HAIN?ARZA HAYE-
'TUMNE TO 3 GHANTE KE PLASTIC KE TOOKDO PAR VATAN KE LIYE KURBAANIYAA DI'
KYAA KHAAK MAARTE HO MARE HOOE LOGON KO,GAR HIMMAT HAYE TO OONKO MAARO,ZINHONE TUMHARE PADOSIYON KO GULAAM BANA DIYA HAYE'
'TUMNE TO FILMI PARDON PAR BAHADOORI DIKHAI HAYE,HUM TO ASAL ZINDAGI MEIN VATAN KI AAG LAGAYE BAITHE HAIN,HAYE GAR HIMMAT TO OONKO ROKO ZINHONE TUMHAARE PADOSIYON KE CHAMAN OOZAAD DIYE HAIN,KYON KI JAB PADOS KA GHAR JALTA HAYE TO OOSKI AAG KI LAPTEN APNE GHAR KO BHI ZALAA DETI HAYE'
GAR HAYE HIMMAT TO 'AFGHANISTAAN ,PAKISTAAN AUR IRAAQ KO AZAAD KARKE DIKHAO',HAMARE DUSHMAN TO ANGAREZ HAIN.
'MAARA HOGA TUMNE ANEK LOGON KO FILMO MEIN,LEKIN MAINE TO APNI ASLI ZINDAGI MEIN KAI SHERON KE DAANT GINE HAIN',KHATMA KARDO YE BANAOTI LADAI HINDUSTAAN AUR PAKISTAAN KA,AUR GAR HIMMAT HAYE TO APNE PADOSI MULKON KO AZAAD KARWA DO'
'TUM DARPOK HO,ISLIYE TUM KAMJOR PE WAAR KARTE HO,HAYE GAR HIMMAT TO ZARA ANGAREZON KO DHOOL CHATA DO'
'DESH KE DALAAL AGAR DESH KE ANDAR HIN HO TO SARHAD KI HIFAAZAT KARNE SE KYAA FAYEDE,YE TUM BHI JAANTE HO AUR MAIN BHI ,KO WO KAON-KAON SE DALAAL HAIN'.
PLEASE FINISH EXPLOITING THE INDIAN CITIZENS USING A POOR AND WEAK COUNTRY LIKE PAKISTAN.THE US ARMY HAS STARTED TO ACCUMULATE IN AFGHANISTAAN AND PAKISTAAN.CAN'T THEY NOT ACCUMULATE IN INDIA?THEY HAVE ALREADY DONE MOST OF THEIR JOBS IN INDIA ACCORDING TO THEIR WAR STRATEGY AGAINST INDIA,NOW ARE WE TRYING TO HIDE THIS HARSH REALITY THROUGH SUCH MOVIES.ENOUGH,ENOUGH OF COWARDISM.THE COUNTRY IS GOING TO COLLAPSE .SAVE IT.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

HON'BLE BLADMIR PUTIN,PRIME MINISTER OF RUSSIA

DEAR SIR,
ZDRASTUTE.YA PAZDRABLABAYU WAAS KHAROSHAYE DAROBAYE,CHAAS,E OCHIN MANOGA DENGI ZA WASE ASTRAANA.YA JHIL WASE STRANA ZA 3 GODA.MINYA OCHIN PANARAWITSA WASE PARUSKI YAAZIK.WAS STRAANA SAMAYA KRASIBAYA ASTRAANA W MIR.YA PAZDRABLAYU KHAROSHAYE DAROBAYE,CHAAS,E MANOGA DENGI Z WAS GRAZDANE.
ACPASIBA BOLSHOI,
RINKU ADARSH
MUSIKAANT

HIS EXCELLENCY,BARACK OBAMA,PRESIDENT U.S.A.

HIS EXCELLENCY,
I WISH YOU A HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR,FREE OF TENSIONS.I ALSO WISH THE SAME TO H.E. GEORGE BUSH AND H.E. BILL CLINTON AND THEIR RESPECTIVE FAMILY MEMBERS,ALL ARTISTS OF U.S.A.,ALL POLITICAL LEADERS AND THE ENTIRE US CITIZENS.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO HER MAJESTY-QUEEN ELIZABETH I I

HER MAJESTY,
HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR.I WISH YOU A PEACEFUL AND HEALTHY LIFE,FREE OF TENSIONS.
YOUR GRANDSON,
RINKU ADARSH

HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO-

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO,
DEVANAND UNCLE,DILIP KUMAR UNCLE,AMIT UNCLE,RAJESH KHANNA UNCLE,AKSHAY BHAIYAA,SHARUKH BHAIYAA,SALMAAN BHAIYAA,AMEER BHAIYAA,RITHIK ROSHAN DOST,SANJAY DUTT BHAIYAA,AJAY DEVGAN BHAIYA,LATA MANGESHKAR DAADI,AANSHA BHONSALE AUNTY,ALKA YAAGNIK DIDI,KUMAR SHAANU BHAIYAA,UDIT NARAIN BHAIYAA,SONU NIGAM DOST,ANNU MALLIK BHAIYAA,AR RAHMAAN BHAIYAA,JAVED AKHTAR UNCLE,ASHA PAREKH AUNTY,HEMA MALINI AUNTY,ZEENAT AMAAN AUNTY,REKHA AUNTY,KAJOL DIDI,RANI MKHERJEE DIDI,AISHWARYA RAI BACHCHAN DIDI,ABHISHEK BHAIYA,BAALA SAHEB THACKAREY DADA JI,UDDHAV THACKERAY BHAIYA,RAAJ THACKERAY BHAIYA,RAHUL GANDHI BHAIYA,SONIA GANDHI AUNTY,PRIYANKA GANDHI DIDI,MANMOHAN SINGH UNCLE,ALL MEMBERS OF INDIAN ARMY,NAVY,AIR FORCE,ALL FARMERS OF INDIA AND ALL THE CITIZENS OF INDIA.
SINCERELY,
RINKU ADARSH

MR. SHATRUGHANA SINHA-THE LION OF BOLLYWOOD.

DEAR SHOT GUN UNCLE,
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU,POONAM AUNTI,LUV AND KUSH BHAIYAA.AAP TO HAMARE PEETA JI KE DOST HAIN.AAPNE HAMAARI IZZAT JIS PRAKAAR ,BAMBAI MEIN 1978 MEIN KIYA ,WO MAIN AAJ TAK NAHIN BHOOL PAAYA HOON.AAPKA YE ANDAAZ KI 'THANDA LOGE KI GARAM' MUJHE BAHAOT PASAND HAYE.UNCLE,AB MAYEN BADA HO GAYA HOON AUR GARAM HI LETA HOON.
MERE MAMA SHRI KI EKLAOTI LADKI KI SHAADI HAYE 9 FARWARI KO.WO CHAHTE HAIN KI OOSMEIN ACHCHE ACHCHE LOG AAYEN.MAINE AAPKE BAARE MEIN ZIKRA KIYA ,TO OONHONO NE KAHAA KI OONKE AOKAAD KI BAHAR KI BAAT HAYE AAPKO AAMANTRIT KARNA.OONHONO MUJHE KAHAA AAPSE PRAARTHANA KARNE KE LIYE.AB MAIN THAHERA GARIB KALAAKAR,AAPSE KAHNE KI HIMMAT KAR RAHA HOON KI,KYAA AAP AAYENGE IS SHAADI MEIN.HUMSE JO THODA BAHOOT KHARCHA KARNA HOGA,AAPKE KHAATIR KE LIYE,SHAAYAD HUM KAR SAKEN.UNCLE HAMARE BHARTIYE SANGEET JAGAT KO BACHA LIJIYE,BAHAOT DARDANAAK ISTHITI SE GOOJAR RAHA HAYE.BAAKI MILNE PAR.
AAPKE BETA SWAROOP,
RINKU ADARSH

TINA MUNIM DIDI,ALAG-ALAG.

MERI PYAARI DIDI,

TINA MUNIM JI,

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.DIDI,JAB AAPKI FILM 'ALAG-ALAG' LAGI THI ,TO OOS SAMAYE MAIN MEDICAL ENTRANCE KI TAEYARI KAR RAHA THAA,ISLIYE DEKH NAHIN PAAYA.KAL ,TV PAR AAPKI FILM DEKHKAR AAPKE PRATI BAHAOT PYAAR AUR IZZAT JAAG GAI.MERE ANSHOO NAHIN ROOK RAHE THEY.KIS TARAH AAPNE OOS PEND KE PAAS RAAR BHAR INTEZAAR KIYA RAJESH KHANNA UNCLE JI KA.KIS TARAH AAPNE ANT MEIN OONKELIYE DARSHAKON SE PATHTHAR KI MAAR KHAI.LEKIN DIDI KYAA AAPKO APNE PYAAR PAR BHAROSA NAHIN THAA?AAJ KAL KI LADKIYAAN PEHLE LADKON SE OONKA PACKAGE POONCHATI HAIN,PHIR OOSI KE ANOOSAAR PYAAR KARTI HAIN.

LEKIN DIDI IS FILM KA JO BACKBONE THA WO THI KISHORE DAA,PANCHAM DAA,LATA TAI KI MADHUR SANGEET ZODI.AB KYAA HOGA DIDI?KISHORE DA,PANCHAM DAA NAHIN RAHE,LATA TAI ,NE GAANA CHOD DIYA HAYE BADHATI OOMRA KE KARAN.AB KYA HOGA.DIDI AAPKO TO APNA PYAAR MIL GAYA ,LEKIN MOOJHE MERA PYAAR NAHIN MIL PAAYA.LENA SE BICHDE 15 SAAL HO GAYE.AB TO OONKI SHAADI BHI HO GAI HOGI,BACHCHE BHI HO GAYE HONGE.AAPKA SAPNA TO SACH HO GAYA KI SHAAYAD ISI FILM KI WAZAH SE ANIL AMBAANI UNCLE NE AAPSE SHAADI KAR LI.MAIN TO ABHITAK APNE PYAAR KI TALAASH MEIN DAR-DAR KI THOKADE KHAA RAHAA HOON.DIDI KYAA PHIR 'ALAG-ALAG' JAISI FILM BAN PAYEGI?AB KYAA HOGA DIDI?MAINE APNE PYAAR KE LIYE KITNI LADAIYAAN LADI,KITNE APMAAN SAHE,KITNI THOKADE KHAI AUR KHAA RAHA HOON.PHIR BHI MERA PYAAR MUJHE SHAKTI DETA RAHTA HAYE.MAIN TO 'ALAG-ALAG' HI RAH GAYA.

AAPKA CHOTA BHAI,

RINKU ADARSH